How to be Chic

What to wear at home

2012-02-10T21:27:00.015+13:00

I have always been interested in how to live a life of style covering all parts of my life. I don’t just want to look stylish when I go out though and be a slob at home in a house that is dull and dirty.

I want to be like those magazine articles that describe what off-duty models wear, and also the ones that interview famous, fashionable faces.

These interviews ask many questions and the famous, fashionable person describes how their typical day might run, how they decorate their home, what they wear when they do their errands. There are little pictures scattered around of their favourite things too. Have you noticed there is always a Diptyque candle pictured in these spreads?

Often the stylish people are described as wearing a practical day-to-day outfit and a face scrubbed of makeup. Come on. They have spent hours getting ready!

One of the topics that interests me though is how to be stylish when at home with my loved one, to be comfortable and practical but sexy and not frumpy.

Once upon a time when I was first married (to my first husband) I remember in the winter wearing tracksuit pants with gathered ankles (and a gathered waist), a sweatshirt and socks at home. The only boxes it ticked were comfortable, practical (and frumpy). Not sexy or stylish.

No wonder that marriage bombed (I sound like I am taking marriage too lightly, I’m not, it wasn’t the track pants that were to blame, not entirely anyway).

Over the years I have been refining my home ‘lounge wear’ two ways: firstly by using items of clothing that are no longer good enough to wear to work or out (but are still in good nick) or by purchasing inexpensive but good quality basics for the express purpose of wearing them at home (first photo at the top of this post).

I haven’t bought anything for a while, and I was becoming in danger of slipping into frump zone. A friend gave me a pair of leggings that I thought I would never wear (due to having worn them in the 80s and apparently you should never wear a trend twice, and also the fact that my bottom is very round).

However, one day I slipped them on with a clingy long-sleeved t-shirt and found that not only were they much warmer than my wide-leg yoga pants (there was no air getting up the legs) but my husband’s eyes almost fell out. ‘Oh’, he said ‘those look very sexy on. You should wear leggings more, they really suit your figure and are so flattering.’

That was last winter. Now it is summer here and too warm for heavyweight full-length leggings. So I went shopping and spent not much at all for my new summer home loungewear.

Last night I debuted a pair of black leggings, ¾ length with ruched sides (at the hem), and a frog/grass green long singlet/tunic top. It comes down over my bum and almost looks like a mini-dress over the leggings. It clings becomingly around my ribs, without being skin-tight. I tried a larger size than normal but it just looked the dreaded frumpy. And a long top balanced out my short-waist.

(picture below, in new lounge wear, grey marle and green)

I was comfortable all evening, could curl up in the armchair like I imagine an off-duty model or actress might (that’s the thing that might inspire me to be slim, being able to curl up that way, because I put on weight around my stomach!) and my man’s first words? ‘That’s sexy’, said appreciatively.

Not frumpy! I am not doing frumpy at 41, I am doing sexy (sexy at home, just for him, I’m not going out to the pub in this just so you know). And I’m not exactly thin, just a good solid medium size. But with a comfortable bra on, one that I don’t mind wearing at home (the underwire doesn’t dig in, hoorah!) and the slimming qualities of the legging waistband I didn’t have any undesired lumps and bumps and could almost pass for slender.

I also bought the ruched ¾ leggings in grey marle, and ankle length pairs for Autumn in navy and black. My other singlet tops were bought in black and navy. Lots of mixing and matching can go on and I will always have a clean set.

I wash my black/dark clothing separately in ‘black wash’ too, which keeps it looking fresh and new. My legs encased in black leggings flecked with white is not good at all, but that will never happen. The thrifty me says ‘throw everything in together, then you’ll only have one wash’ (warm water, power cost etc), the French Chic me counters ‘don’t you want to look after your clothes properly and have them looking nicer for longer?’

So I do it.

An added bonus of feeling chic and elegant and Parisienne was being more mindful of the amount and quality of calories I put in my mouth. I was still comfortable, but aware of my figure. A winning combo for me.

Reader Question

2012-02-02T22:01:00.005+13:00

Dear Fiona,

There is magic in everything you write. It is more than just sharing how you choose to live your life. I noticed that every time after reading your post I feel emotionally uplifted/lighter, calmer, happier and more optimistic… I would like to learn how to maintain an authentic positive vibration.

There is something that makes me very sad sometimes. It is relationship dynamic with my parents. They were too busy living their own lives when I was growing up with grandparents. Now when I am almost 37 they need more space in my life than I am available to offer. It takes me to very dark place emotionally and has a negative effect on my productivity.

How to start over and be happy regardless of what past was like? How to protect yourself emotionally from relatives that make you sad? How to build healthy boundaries while still remaining polite?

Thank you.

---

Dear Anonymous,

Since you left this comment on the 7th of January, I have been thinking about what kind of answer I could write. I feel reluctant to actually advise someone as it seems such a big responsibility. I will give it a try though.

My main thought is to tell the truth. Tell your parents how you feel, how they make you feel, and that you want to change the way things are in the future.

If you don’t feel brave enough to start this conversation face to face, do it in an email or a letter. That way you can edit what you want to say before you ‘say’ it, and they can get a chance to digest it. Hopefully then it will lead onto a worthwhile conversation.

I sent my Dad an email a few years ago about something that was bothering me. I felt sick when I had sent it, but we had a good conversation afterwards and I felt infinitely better.

Anything big to talk about is always going to be hard, but worth it. It will feel like a weight has been lifted from you.

If you worry about what to say to them, just say the truth. Say you have been feeling sad about them and feel pulled between them and your life. Let them know they weren’t there for you then and that you have made your own life without them because of this.

See where that leads. If they aren’t willing to change, then there’s not much else you can do, but at least you tried to fix the problem. Hopefully they will be willing to meet you half way (or better still, more than half way) and this could be a brilliant new phase of life, for all of you.

Remember, we only have one life as us, why let it tick away with regrets and unhappiness. If there is something bothering us about our life, it is in our best interest to try and fix it.

To address your other question about maintaining an authentically positive disposition. I try to keep my energy level positive by not dwelling on unpleasant or sad things.

Because I am very sensitive, as I can probably imagine you are, these sorts of things really get me down. It could be a tragic newspaper article, a sad situation about someone I know, or good people struggling to make ends meet.

I still live in the real world, but if there is something I have no control over, I try not to think about it.

I read books that make me happy: spiritually uplifting ones, chick lit, my French Chic library and many more.

Our mind is like a garden some say – if we don’t plant flowers (good thoughts), then the weeds will take over (negative thoughts). If a weed pops up, replace it with a flower to crowd out that weed. As time goes on the flowers will regenerate naturally, as positive thinking is just as much a habit as negative thinking.

Make time for things you do that make you happy. A few examples of my own:

Yoga classes
Walking outside
Carrying out my household chores with plenty of time to spare so I am not rushed and can enjoy doing them
Going to see a movie by myself
Reading at any time of the day
A home spa day or evening
Pottering
Quiet time to myself
Sewing, knitting, needlework, patchwork, crochet
Window shopping and seeing what is new out there without spending a cent, except perhaps for a cold drink or a coffee
Early nights
Planning ahead and being organised
A tidy, clean, orderly, peaceful home
Having a pet

Make your own list and do these things more.

If anyone reading this post has any thoughts for Anonymous, please feel free to leave them in the comments section. I would be grateful as I feel a little out of my depth here!

Chic Habits

2012-01-29T10:21:00.002+13:00

One of my favourite treats at the movies is a box of popcorn. I have always loved popcorn and love the thought of being in the dark, watching a movie with a big tub, just for me. I used to order Large and in the last few years in an effort to be more normal, would order Medium size.

Still, I knew a big bucket of snack food wasn’t chic and somehow thought it could be my guilty secret, because it’s dark in there. I don’t think my dream Parisian girl Sabine would do this, snack on a giant size of something that is used to fatten cattle. My latest chic habit therefore is to:

Be chic at the movies.

Before: not being able to go to the movies without purchasing a medium or large tub of popcorn to graze unattractively on. My husband doesn’t eat anything at the movies so I feel really conspicuous next to him with my tub-0-lard.

Even when I went by myself to a movie recently I still felt self-conscious. I saw Audrey Tautou’s movie Beautiful Lies and was aware that the slightly older crowd of couples did not have buckets of grossness.

After: no popcorn. Now when I go along, I take a small bottle of chilled sparkling mineral water and sip this. I can buy it at the supermarket for a small price and slip it in my bag to take along. I feel très French and chic sipping on this periodically throughout the movie.

When I leave, I can throw the empty bottle in the bin and Voila, no ‘popcorn remorse’. I don’t even miss the popcorn! It was just always something I had done and enjoyed the ‘tradition’.

I think the transition was helped somewhat by the last bucket being underflavoured, slightly stale and pretty much tasteless. It tells me yet again that when you don’t prepare the food yourself you have no power to guide the ingredients.

Does anyone else have a popcorn fixation like me?

Creating A Peaceful Oasis Outdoors

2012-01-20T09:05:00.006+13:00

The house we moved into three months ago, despite being about twenty years old, didn’t have much of a garden. There was plenty of lawn, a fair amount of invasive plant, some scrappy, spindly trees which had seen neither water nor pruning shears for a long time, a few dull shrubs (even the word ‘shrub’ is dreary isn’t it?) and many patches of overgrown white Arum lilies (too funereal for me).

Before I could even get my head around how we would make the outdoors here our peaceful oasis, my husband and his Dad went on a spring cleaning spree with chainsaw and weedkiller. It’s not quite as bad as it sounds though, and we now have a lovely blank canvas in which to shape over time. What did survive the cull was a petite lemon tree (yay!), one other tree which I will find out it’s name one day and another citrus, which citrus as yet unknown.

I have also banned weedkiller from here on in. My father-in-law’s answer to a lot of the garden areas in different spots was to, and I quote, ‘cover in concrete’. I love him to bits and he does many little jobs for us but he’s a very practical man.

We have a difference of opinion on companion animals (the politically correct name for pets these days) – I think they are a necessary part of enjoying life and he thinks they are an unnecessary hassle. So it doesn’t surprise me we also have differing views on a garden.

After reading The Palace Diaries by Sarah Goodall and getting to know Prince Charles (he seems a really lovely guy), I was interested to hear a little more about his pride and joy, the garden at his country residence Highgrove (gloriously pictured above). I borrowed a book from the library called The Garden at Highgrove by Candida Lycett Green (a wonderfully English name).

It is such an inspirational tome, even if Highgrove is on a slightly larger scale than our small section. I love the structure, topiary and many different shades of green used. I also really enjoyed the introduction written by Prince Charles himself.

He talks of wanting to heal a countryside decimated in the name of progress although admitted ‘trying to translate a series of rather vague feelings into practical, organic action was considerably more challenging than I thought’. I feel just the same, although sadly I don’t have a staff of gardeners to help me along my way.

One of our old neighbours is a landscape designer and although he said he doesn’t accept money from friends for plans, he is happy to come and have a walk around our property and give us some advice. I just cannot wait for this to happen so that we can start putting some structure into place that I can then fill in over the years.

And even if we didn't have this option, I would be educating myself with gardening books and internet searches. I'll see what style of garden I like and how different plants grow in our climate.

I already have plants in pots that I have taken from cuttings at my Dad’s place – box hedging and hydrangeas. I have visions of a path with hedging, white stone or shell, lavender, lemon, lime and mandarin trees, a Daphne bush for winter fragrance, a herb garden and summer vegetables.

I’ve dabbled in gardens to varying degrees over the years, more when I was a homeowner previous and in pots whilst renting, but am still very much a beginner.

I spent 15 minutes weeding last night before dinner as it was such a beautiful and balmy summer evening. I thought 15 minutes often is a good way to deal with maintenance such as weeding, especially as I have put my foot down and instituted the ‘no poisons on our property’ rule.

And of course I will be doing all this on a small budget, over time, a la Kaizen.

I am cheered on with turning our place into a mini-Highgrove by this quote from Joan Collins (really, how many times would you read of the Prince of Wales and Joan Collins in the same post?):

‘Make plans even if they might be a touch unrealistic. One of the keys to being happy is to believe in a beautiful future. Hope springs eternal.’

From ‘Joan’s Way - Looking Good, Feeling Great’, by Joan Collins

Kaizen

2012-01-06T21:19:00.009+13:00

I was talking with my husband tonight about making our new home better over time, both with cleaning effort and low-cost updates. He told me about kaizen, which is Japanese for small and gradual improvement and that’s how their successful companies work.

I actually got very excited by this as it's how I live my life, and there’s a name for it. How often does that happen? I don't really go for high-cost, high-maiintenance but enjoy finding the d.i.y. low-cost, creative route.

Because we are focused on paying our home loan off in a much shorter time than the standard 25 years, we have decided to wait and see what improvements we want to do that require serious capital input.

We also practice this with our shop. I see other retail stores that spend big dollars on a fancy fitout (and make me feel like we should do the same) but within a few years have closed down.

Everything we do in our business we ask ‘how many pairs of shoes do we have to sell to pay for this, and is it worth it?’ Of course we have to be professional, but there are many, many ways to waste money I have found.

And we want our shop to be around for a long time. Being fiscally responsible is one way to ensure that as much as possible.

I often think imagine if you had a camera set up that took time-lapse photos of your home. It would show from the date you moved in how much better it looked month on month and year on year.

I’m sure ‘kaizen’ isn’t a better known term (or maybe you’ve already heard of it) because it’s not as exciting as the ‘big reveal’ of a makeover programme where everything is changed in an instant and everything is brand-new.

Just like a diet, slow and steady brings gradual and permanent change. As others have wisely noted in the comments section, our tastes change over time too, so if you redecorate your home all at once (obviously having just won the lottery), mightn’t you get sick of it soon?

As with personal style, I think it’s better to grow into your home look.

Click here and here for Wikipedia entries on Kaizen.

A Christmas Tail

2011-12-23T09:51:00.006+13:00

Yesterday I received a Christmas blessing that is so rich I felt I must share it with you.

Last Friday evening we noticed an odd-looking white cat outside our gate. I very quickly realised it looked odd because it had no ears. That’s right – no ears. It was not pristine and quite rough looking and I feared it had been a victim of some kind of cruelty.

Over the years I have given both time and money to animal charities but still remain very sensitive to this, as many others are. To the point that one day I found holes cut out of the newspaper – my dear husband had censored some upsetting stories for me!

Back to White Cat though, she came meowing out from under a car as we walked past. We came back a few hours later and she was still there, calling out loudly. She was very friendly and allowed me to pat her. I brought some meat out and fed her on the grass verge.

The next day we didn’t see her and I thought she might have gone home. She was back on Sunday and over the next few days I fed her some more. I realised what a fabulous man my husband was when he suggested we take her in when that was what I was thinking too.

On a night of torrential rain we brought her inside (we had already been giving her breakfast and dinner) and she stayed the night. She hissed and growled at Jessica a lot but I thought they would get used to each other. She stayed the next night too.

I thought after Christmas I would take her to the vet for a check-up and see if she was micro chipped to try and track down an owner if there was one, but we feared she may have been dumped.

She didn’t look young and when you picked her up she was light as a feather. Quite a difference from Miss Jessica who looks dainty but when you lift her it’s like a bag of sand in your arms!

Her ears told me another story though. They didn’t look hacked off, but surgically removed, and I realised she may have had skin cancer being a white cat, which would have necessitated ear removal. She looked a little ferrety with no ears I have to say. And I was patting her yesterday morning and my ring got caught on her ear-hole. It didn’t hurt her but I felt terrible.

I thought she must be a lost, loved cat if someone had taken the time and expense to have her ears operated on. Plus she was very tame and operated our cat-door no problem at all. She was not a wild cat Miss White Cat.

At work yesterday I decided to see if I could find White Cat’s owners. First I placed a pet lost and found ad on Trade Me (like eBay here). I rung two vets in the area and asked if any of the cats on their records were white cats with no ears. Then I did an internet search. One of the New Zealand pet websites with a lost and found section allowed you to search by keywords and areas.

Up came a white cat lost in our area but it had ears. I clicked on the photo anyway and what do you know, the description of the photo said ‘this was taken before she had her ears reduced due to skin cancer’. And she was lost in a big park right near us. I couldn’t ring the number quick enough.

I phoned her ‘Dad’ and he couldn’t believe we had his girl. She is 12 years old and had been with him since she was six months old. She had hopped into a friend’s car, unbeknownst to him of course and the friend drove off. When he got to where he was going (right by our street) she jumped out frightened and ran off and that was the last they saw of her at the end of November. She had been living rough for more than three weeks.

Her Dad came around last night to pick her up. He was such a lovely man, a retired police detective. He said he had tears in his eyes after I rung him to say we had his puss.

I still can’t believe it’s worked out so well and Dolly has been reunited with her family (her Dad is a country music fan and named her after Dolly Parton 'because she is blonde'). And only a few days before Christmas. I couldn’t think of a better Christmas present myself.

And full credit to Jessica for being such an accommodating hostess to White Cat. She did not hiss or growl once, despite a strange cat staying with her. And the nice lady at the cat shelter said she liked her own company and didn’t want to be around other cats. Jessica’s my true Christmas angel.

I was so happy last night thinking of them cuddled up together. I asked him if she slept on the bed with him and he said ‘tonight I might let her’, and he was planning on locking her in the house with him.

Merry Christmas to Dolly and her Dad!

Lessons from Madame Chic

2011-12-18T07:58:00.006+13:00

I loved everything about this book, in which the author recounts her time spent with an aristocratic Parisian family and details the fabulous lessons learned from them, and others she came into contact with during her time spent in France.

Jennifer has a friendly conversational tone of writing that makes you feel instantly pulled into her circle of girlfriends. Often I felt I was having a cup of tea and a chat with her.

I, along with many others followed Jennifer’s blog series The Top 20 Things I Learned in Paris. This book carries on with these lessons and goes more in depth. There are also many new stories about her time in Paris..

From her writing, both in this book and on her blog, The Daily Connoisseur, I sense that Jennifer is an elegant and gentle person. It was a pleasure to get to know her better through her first book Lessons from Madame Chic. I really hope there are others.

I certainly picked up many tips to elevate my day-to-day life to that of art. We may not all be French aristocracy, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want to live beautifully, every single day of our life.

Thank you Jennifer for writing this fun and well-designed book. It will keep Paris alive in my head and rightly deserves a prime spot on my French Chic bookshelf.

Disclosure: Jennifer kindly emailed and asked me if I would like a copy of Lessons from Madame Chic sent to me to review. Yes please! And thank you!

Additional note: Our rescue-cat Jessica published this review post when it was only half finished so I apologise on her behalf if you received it incomplete.

A serene season

2011-12-14T07:29:00.007+13:00

I have decided this year I am not buying into the craziness. I know some enjoy the frenetic buying energy of Christmas, but I’m not one of them. I just get stressed and unhappy. And this year ‘by rights’ I could be more stressed as we are hosting two family gatherings. Other years because we lived in such a tiny place we were always the guests, so why exactly was I feeling so put upon then?

So whether things are stressful or not, I will be calm. I will be happy and 'up' and little things will not bother me. Sometimes it is as simple as making a decision to be that way.

I had planned to keep up my walks and yoga as far along December as possible, but it has been too busy in the shop. That’s okay though, I am still calm. Making sure I eat enough protein has been a key factor in this I think. I have been keeping away from junky foods for the most part and planning in a good dollop of protein with each meal. It keeps me full for longer and I haven’t been craving sugar.

And not eating sugary gross foods means I feel happier and more in balance. Despite there sometimes being an instant connection to eating a bag of lollies and then me feeling jittery, hot and irritable, I still didn’t click and change what I did next time. A friend of my Mum’s who is a cancer survivor and is now much more aware of her health stays away from sugar entirely. It’s really not good stuff even though it comes along in bright colours and says ‘look at me I’m fun, you’ll have a good time with me’. And it’s marketed at children!

I’ve also been listening to my good friend Dr Norman Vincent Peale on his audiobook The Power of Positive Thinking. He is a religious man and likes to quote the bible every now and then. I am not particularly religious (I think of myself to be more spiritual) but what he says makes so much sense and it is very calming to listen to him. He really makes me see reason and the world seems a more manageable place after I’ve had a dose.

Dr Peale says none of us are born as worriers and that it is a habit we acquire over time. We go into it bit by bit and so we have to turn things around in a slow and steady manner. I still have a long way to go but I am willing to keep doing the work to be a happy and serene person who lets minor annoyances wash over them.

Another way I have been cultivating calmness is to do things ahead of time. Some family members and I swapped wishlists which I have to say I’m a real fan of now. It takes the stress out of gift giving, and isn’t a ‘surprise’ gift a waste of time and money if it is not used? In my ideal world we would all swap good wishes rather than buy stuff, but who doesn’t like to open a brightly wrapped Christmas present on the day.

My relaxed and calm Christmas feeling was severely tested this morning. The first post on this subject I had been writing over the past few weeks went ‘pop’ just as I hit publish and completely disappeared. Even though I had been saving and autosaving all along, every single word was gone. After checking and rechecking that I couldn’t find it, I decided it wasn’t worth getting upset about and started writing another one.

And now here I am with a second post. And I’m calm. Today I am at home for the whole day, oh joy, and I can really get stuck in and whip our chateau into shape.

Be serene this Christmas everyone!

Living as our grandparents did

2011-12-05T06:52:00.009+13:00

I’ve never really thought of myself as ‘green’, more ‘old-fashioned’. But the more I research, the more I’m convinced they are almost the same thing. I was reading this article in a great new magazine I have out from the library:

Living Lightly and Saving Money

The article compiles many ways our ancestors went about life and were thrifty in the process. In the eighties we went away from this in favour of conspicuous consumption. Thank goodness thrift is back in vogue again.

Aside from the saving money aspect, I feel disrespectful if I waste food or throw away something that could have been used by someone else. In fact I just can’t do it. When we were moving I drove my husband nuts, sifting through everything we were decluttering, figuring out where it could be donated to.

As much as I love those decluttering programmes on tv, it really upsets me to have the solution be a big skip outside, where everything is thrown in. If an item is in good, usable, clean, unbroken condition there is always someone who could use it that otherwise might not have the chance. I think it is our duty as a caring human being to try and find that person, via thrift shops, to charities that assist others or simply directly, by asking around.

Other ways I am like our grandparents?

I scrubbed our kitchen floor and entrance-way with hot water and sugar soap not long after we moved in (it was pretty filthy). Strongly-scented floor cleaners aren't for me. Normally I use hot water, white vinegar and a squirt of lemon dishwash. A few drops of essential oil are added if I'm in the mood. And I hang washing outside. And cook many of our meals from scratch.

Even when eating, the question could be asked ‘would my Grandparents recognise this food?’ when choosing what to eat. The world’s population would be a much healthier place if we ate according to this.

Many of the things listed in the article I do, and they were originally done in the name of thrift or making do. This is what I do! And now it’s green! I do these things to make the most of my resources, and also because I feel disrespectful to the Universe if I waste things.

I simply cannot throw something in the rubbish if it can be used by someone else (so I donate it) and I feel terribly guilty if I throw out food. If it’s vegetation I throw out I feel bad that the Universe grew it for me and I wasted it. Even more guilt is felt if it’s meat or eggs I throw out. An animal died (or laid) for me and I can’t even be bothered to appreciate it?

As a result I throw out practically nothing. I honestly can’t remember the last time I threw out food. If I don’t eat something as leftovers for lunch the next day (like our creamy chicken and mushroom pasta from tonight, which I’ll have with salad for lunch tomorrow), I will tuck it in the freezer to have another day. If it’s something like a small piece of blue cheese or half a chopped onion, I will freeze to include in a casserole or soup.

Another aspect of living like our grandparents did is mending something if it’s broken. There is much satisfaction to be gained from utilising our grey matter and working out how we can fix a problem. My sister was telling me today how she hemmed a pair of jeans shorter, and in the process used the excess denim to almost invisibly patch a hole in the knee. Result: one ‘new’ pair of jeans which are currently receiving a lot of wear.

I understand not everyone sews, but really, in the olden days it was just something you did. If one is really interested in living a thrifty life, at least knowing how to sew on buttons, hand-stitch a hem or sew up a small hole is mandatory.

Reading instead of tv watching, going for a stroll after dinner, eating real food, being a good steward of our finances, appreciating nature, growing herbs or even vegetables, making things with our hands: these are all ways we can enjoy life by living as our grandparents did.

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New House - Our Bedroom

2011-11-26T21:12:00.008+13:00

As with the living room, Miss Jessica enjoys the sun streaming into the master bedroom. Most days after work we find her in our bedroom upstairs. In fact I don't think there has been one day she has been downstairs when we've arrived home.

How fortuitous that these lovely ropes were already holding the curtains back when we moved in. They're just my style.

One of the things I liked about this place before we bought it (OK, the main thing) was the triple width wardrobe in our bedroom.

We're going to get fancy built-in wardrobe people to come around and quote for us as there's a lot of space in there and I think we can get rid of our drawers and just have a spacious hotel-like bedroom with a bed and a wardrobe.

My makeup area. The larger of the two mirrors I found on the side of the road. I love it.

The ensuite off our bedroom. This is one end.

And this is the other.

New House - The Living Room

2011-11-22T06:36:00.021+13:00

First up in my mini house-tour is the living room. Our main living area is open plan living/dining/kitchen, in the classic L shape.

Jessica loves how the sun coats her fur through the French doors.

As tempting as it is to update the whole house straight away (after all we plan to be here for quite some time), it's a more exciting prospect to pay the mortgage off quicker whilst making do, and doing things over time and within our everyday budget. That actually thrills me more.

Creativity will be called in, and the style will evolve. Things that I would have considered non-negotiable when we moved here (less than a month ago), I now can live without.

It helps to have a father-in-law who lives just down the road and is very handy and has kept every piece of timber or curtain rail he has ever come across. We even have a rimu bannister coming from one of his friends.

We have joined the 21st century with wireless internet. I made the tablecloth from a $10 curtain remnant.

I feel so content and at peace that we own our own home. It is such a fantastic feeling and I am so grateful.

The gorgeous handmade bookshelf from my Dad a few years ago. Both my father and father-in-law are retired engineers. We are doubly blessed.

Valarie

2011-11-12T17:35:00.000+13:00

It was my Nana’s birthday yesterday. She would have been 88. Nana died a year and a half ago and I miss her so much. I can still hear her voice and it’s horrible that I can’t pick up the phone and call her. You just think people will always be around, but they won’t.

Thinking back, there were many ways Nana was a chic mentor to me, although I might not have realised it at the time.

She was a tiny thing, less than five feet tall in her later years. Nana was always a ‘normal’ weight, but in the last 5-10 years she became concerned with her weight and eked her Christmas and birthday chocolates out so she didn’t get fat. 'I’m getting a little pot you know’ she would say to me as she patted her flat stomach.

For breakfast Nana would often have a piece of toast, and a coffee with cream. I remember her lunches would be a slice of ham and some fresh salad vegetables on a small oval plate.

She lived near to town in her tidy and stylish flat, and mostly walked to buy a few groceries or to meet my Mum and Aunty for lunch. She kept her home immaculate and maintained her clutter-free status by asking for ‘consumable’ gifts if we gave her anything. Her home style was very classic and elegant, and I now proudly have her sofas in our living room.

I also have her Belle Fiore dinner-set which she started collecting as a young woman, adding on pieces as the years went by. It wasn’t cheap, and she used to buy it from a beautiful shop in town which was a jeweller but also sold fine china. I have always loved this dinner-set. It is English but looks Italian (hence the name which means ‘beautiful flowers’). She didn’t keep it for best either - it was her only set, so she used it every day.

Even though she was 86 when she died and a great-grandmother, she always seemed youthful. When I was in my late teens or early 20s I remembered buying a pair of shoes and finding out she had the same ones. How often would that happen to a young girl? I probably had mature taste for my age, or maybe we both liked the classics.

I borrowed some of her tops and skirts then too. I remember she would offer for us to have a wear or two of one of her new skirts before I shortened them for her. Since there was over half a foot difference in our height, a nice mid-calf length on her would be knee length on me. This was the late 80s/early 90s when mid-calf was THE length.

The elegant scent that always surrounded Nana my sister christened ‘Eau de Val’. Her home smelt lovely and so did she. She favoured spicy florals, and after she had gone and we were sharing out her tops and scarves, her fragrance lingered.

Nana’s hair was mostly in a silky silver bob which she would comb back and then pat up at the back and towards the crown of her head. If she came somewhere with us she would always dash into her light and airy bedroom to powder her nose and put some lipstick and perfume on. And she would always self-tan her legs in the summer so they would look nice with skirts and cropped pants.

Nana remained youthful I think by not really acknowledging her age. She always dressed appropriately and not too young, but she didn’t really identify with her peers. She just always seemed younger than the other women her age who had their hair set and wore floral frocks with a cardigan and comfortable shoes.

She would often pick up groceries for her elderly neighbours and run errands for them. When the local post office closed down she wasn’t concerned for herself, but said ‘what about the old folk, what will they do?’ We found this so cute that she didn’t think of herself as one of the old folk even though she was well into retirement age.

She was a registered nurse and until she was about 70 worked part-time at a rest home. Because she was often older than the residents, visitors would often confuse her for one of them rather than a staff member.

If you called around to Nana’s after work on a Friday, you were offered a brandy and dry ginger-ale. I could only have the one if I was driving home as she did a good pour. When I was first going out with my beloved, we went to a house party where everyone took what they were drinking. He had some beers in a cooler bag. I felt like a brandy so I took my bottle along, with a bottle of dry ginger-ale. The hostess, quite a hard-case beer-drinking girl herself screeched ‘Brandy! That’s an old lady’s drink!’ To me it was a normal tipple choice.

Nana was just plain good fun. There aren’t many grandmothers you would look forward to going and staying the night with, or call around for an after-work drink as a young adult. One day it was my sister and I and she, with a brandy each flipping through Hello magazines. ‘Bloody Rome!’ she exclaimed, as we pored over beautiful photos of the Italian city.

Happy Birthday dear Nana. We miss you.

PS. I chose this image of a Daphne flower, as Nana would often have a sprig of Daphne in a dainty vase on her dining table in the winter, casting its divine perfume. Now that we have our own house, the first thing I am going to plant is a Daphne bush.

Living a Small Life

2011-11-08T06:19:00.003+13:00

The more time I spend on this earth, the more I realise I can please myself and be myself. I don’t need to pretend to want great things and I don’t need to fret that I’ve never had or probably never will have a high-powered career.

I’ve come to realise that’s not what I’m about. I enjoy a quiet and simple life. Ever since I left school I’ve always worked at ‘normal’ office jobs. I didn’t attend University because I didn’t really know what I wanted to study, and I didn’t want to go just for the sake of it. So I started my first full-time job at 18 (although I had already been working part-time after school and in school holidays since I was 14) and have been working ever since.

My husband and I now own a small retail business which we started almost seven years ago. We have decided for now we are content with one shop and a simple online presence. We’ve talked about it and agreed that opening a second or subsequent shops wouldn’t necessarily make us any happier.

It’s all about balance. By running one shop between us we have the flexibility during the day to do things such as run errands, go to the gym or yoga, take a walk, or just disappear for a while if we want to.

In terms of a social life, I’ve had my times of going out a lot especially when single. But even then I loved nothing more than to be at home with the fire lit, knitting or reading. I knew I had to go out to meet someone though for they don’t come knocking at your door, so I did what I had to (and actually met the perfect man for me, now my husband, in a bar).

It’s not just about what I do for a job, or socialising though, it’s everything in my life. I happily share one very ordinary car and enjoy creative and frugal pursuits at home. Expensive hobbies scare me.

Even though I enjoy the dream of living in or travelling to Paris or New York City, I love living in New Zealand and can’t see myself living anywhere else. And for travel, I know it will come, I’m happy to forego it now, in this phase of my life where we are running a business.

If it sounds like I’m putting off happiness, I’m not. Every day I feel grateful and satisfied and thankful that I am where I am. I enjoy small luxuries frequently and make my own happiness. I collect simple pleasures such as going to bed early.

My Mum always said ‘bored people are boring’ when we complained of having nothing to do. I guess I took that to heart as now there aren’t enough hours in the day for all the things I love to do – reading, writing, sewing, knitting, cooking, pottering, movie-watching – as well as living my everyday life in a thoughtful and stylish manner.

I no longer feel I have to apologise for not being a faster and more driven person. I am content to live my own life, at my own pace.

That's the greatest luxury of all I think: living a life custom-designed for me.

Image

Bonjour

2011-11-01T07:08:00.007+13:00

Bonjour chic friends! I’ve so enjoyed my month ‘almost’ away from technology and would heartily recommend it to anyone wishing to regain some equilibrium. I did check email and bank accounts daily, and had the occasional blog read, but just knowing I didn’t have any commitments was wonderful and so calming.

Of course I wasn’t sitting on a poolside lounger with a trashy novel and a drink with an umbrella in it, but I did get in some relaxation time in between moving house, unpacking, running a busy shop (in school holidays no less which is at times insanely busy) and trying not to have takeaway dinners too often.

It only took a handful of nights for us to get sick of eaten-out dinners and craving home-cooked real food and lots of veges. And we only had one fast-food breakfast– it was quite a novelty because we very rarely do it, but I somehow don’t think my ideal Paris girl would be caught dead eating a sausage and egg muffin with deep-fried hash brown at 8am (or anytime!). At least I was sitting down at a chair and table, that was probably the only French-inspired detail.

The funniest breakfast was at our old place when mostly everything was packed and I found my husband eating Weetbix made with hot water (rather than his usual hot milk) ladling it into his mouth with a large-size black plastic serving spoon out of a cooking pot. He was very happy though and said it was like an adventure. I think he was quite proud of himself for improvising.

Even though I still haven’t unpacked two of our three bedrooms (the guest room and office/sewing room), the rest of our house is pretty much set up, albeit in a slightly haphazard manner which I am tidying as I go. Just being in our own house makes me so happy and content, even though there are many little maintenance and decor things that need addressing.

I actually enjoyed cleaning our twenty-year old oven last week because it’s our oven, and I have to say it sparkles. We will update the kitchen eventually, but for the moment I am more than happy cooking in and keeping clean and organised my outdated kitchen because, yes, it’s our kitchen.

The area we live in now I am very pleased with too. It’s where my husband grew up, so he feels instantly secure and happy here. It has a really nice family feeling, with people walking their dogs and out with their children after work. There are even ducks which waddle around in pairs, and I saw a Mother duck and her ducklings. There are some ponds nearby which explains exactly why you sometimes have to wait for the ducks to cross before you can turn into your driveway.

I haven’t picked up Jessica cat yet, I go in a few days time. But at the top of this post is a photo of her which the cat shelter kindly sent me. I remembered her as being quite homely but perhaps she was having an off day as she is quite the pretty girl here. I felt mean looking at the most beautiful cats thinking which one I should choose, so I asked the shelter person ‘which one needs a home the most’ and came away sponsoring Jessica until we could pick her up.

Another thing I love about our neighbourhood is, while we are out in the suburbs, it is on a direct and nearby bus route into the city, and there is a big supermarket, shops, and restaurants within walking distance. It took me eight minutes to walk to the supermarket the other day to pick up a few items for dinner. I am glad we can continue to live well with one car. I never mind taking public transport either, it always makes me feel like I live in a big city. I just have to remember to tuck a book into my bag.

So that’s all to report in with now. I will share some photos with you when the house is looking a little more presentable. I've taken many photos and I'll entertain you with some befores and afters one day, but I'm afraid at the moment they are all 'befores'!

Final Day in a Chic September

2011-09-30T20:19:00.001+13:00

Well, my chic friends, may I share with you what I learned during the 30 days of a chic September? At the beginning of the month I planned to:

‘Document daily steps I have taken towards a chic, elegant and healthy life. My goal is to keep uppermost in my mind the kind of life I want to live. I will be focusing on all the small things I do each day that lead me towards my goal, rather than away from it.’

The first thing I learnt is that I take my beret off to those of you who blog daily. Keeping it up for a week or a month is one thing, but all the time is quite another. Thanks to those of you who asked, but I just couldn’t carry on through October, or until the end of the year. I'm almost wrecked now!

I learned that there are opportunities to live a chic life at every turn, even in the mundane. I found that by planning ahead, I was more successful and improved my odds in being chic. Getting up earlier, doing my jobs quickly, organising meals ahead of time, these all gave me time to do something extra with my appearance or tidy up around the house, or do a few more chores at work.

And I learnt many, many new ways to incorporate little things into my life to make it more chic, from you. Thank you for ideas you left in the comments section, I’ve really enjoyed and been inspired by them.

Kate at Une Vie Chic posted on her blog ‘a chic life is not a lazy life’. I couldn’t agree more. On days when I thought ‘I’m tired, I’m going to have a rest, I’m not doing anything’, well, those were the days when I felt the least positive and consequently less chic. I’ve always believed ‘x begets x’ as in being busier makes you more productive, over-eating more makes you want to eat more, consuming less makes you want to consume less, action begets action and laziness begets laziness.

I went for a walk today and had lunch out, just me. It seems to be my thing lately, I go for an exercise walk to a nearby area, have lunch by myself and a browse and walk back to work. I was in a bookstore and it was so relaxing. Do you find bookstores calm you? If there’s classical music playing in the background so much the better.

Flicking through a magazine I came across an article on turning off technology. It noted we are more tied to our gadgets than ever, at the same time as ‘retro’ domestic arts are enjoying a resurgence – knitting, baking, sewing, etc. Like they ever went away! The article had examples of people who shut their technology off for a period of time and saw how they coped.

I don’t twitter or facebook, but I blog, email and browse. Many’s the time when I’ve felt so drained from incessant browsing, yet I can’t seem to tear myself away. That’s where the oven timer comes in handy, but I only have one at home. I have to be a bit disciplined at work.

In October I will be packing and organising for our move, and then moving, and then unpacking and organising. So there won’t be much time at all for internetting. So in a way I will be having my own technology detox and perhaps it is quite timely.

There are things I have to do, such as internet banking – I check and balance our accounts both work and home every day, and email but I will limit myself to certain, reasonable times. Then there are blogs and newspapers. My inspiration and entertainment. I’m thinking I might not click on, for the whole month, just to see if I can.

I’m actually quite excited about the prospect. More time for things such as cooking, reading, putting my feet up, making our new house a stylish nest, planning, planting herbs, finding a summer knitting project – the scarf on the cover of Debbie Bliss’s book The Knitter’s Year looks pretty and I already have some knitting cotton, watching movies, pottering and writing.

So, I will see you in November. I look forward to catching up with your blogs then.

Image from http://makingmagique.com

29th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-29T22:31:00.008+13:00

28th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-28T20:39:00.006+13:00

For the month of September I plan to document daily steps I have taken towards a chic, elegant and healthy life. My goal is to keep uppermost in my mind the kind of life I want to live. I will be focusing on all the small things I do each day that lead me towards my goal, rather than away from it.

Here are today’s mini-chic accomplishments:

Am part-way through reading Mrs Miniver. The book was published in 1939, but started out as a series of newspaper columns in The Times from 1937 on. The library copy I am reading has date-stamps in the back from 1957!

Mrs Miniver gives her account of everyday life in London, just before the war started. It is very readable and enjoyable, written very simply about domestic details.

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Awoke in an altogether more positive and motivated frame of mind today. It’s amazing the restorative powers of sleep. Yesterday I felt physically very tired and the thought of all the things I have to do at work along with packing up and moving house, well, I was feeling a little sorry for myself.

Plus, I had a hair appointment this afternoon. And if your hair’s on its last legs like mine was yesterday, that’s enough to get anyone down! Now I am revived, trimmed, highlighted, blow-waved.

Today is another day, and I am ready to give it a good go.

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Watered my orchids with weak coffee a la Janet at The Gardeners Cottage. Apparently they love it. I left a little bit of coffee in my espresso maker this morning and filled it up with water. It was like a very chic watering can. If only doing this would also make my house look like Janet’s. A girl can dream.

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Cooked dinner when I really wasn’t in the mood. I did though, something else from the pantry was used up so we don’t have to move it, and it was cheaper and better for me than a bought dinner.

I made chicken breasts pan-fried in sesame oil and finished off with soy sauce and thai sweet chilli, basmati coconut rice with mushrooms and yellow capsicum, and steamed broccoli, green beans and cauliflower.

Since I’d had the whole day off work and been to the hairdressers, it was the least I could do for my husband. He’s a very appreciative eater and the plate was almost licked clean.

The item used up was a mini can of coconut milk and it was my Mum’s idea to make coconut rice. It was delicious, and a bit of a treat considering how rich coconut milk is.

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Did all my housework today in record time, even though I wasn’t rushing things. I treated it like it was my job and ticked off the list. So I wouldn’t be distracted I even unplugged the laptop and put it away. A silly thing I know but it made all the difference.

A clean and tidy house makes me feel more in control of things too.

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If you feel like you want to make September a chic month for you as well, please join me. You are welcome to share your mini-chic accomplishments for the day (or the previous day if you read in the morning) in the comments section. It would be lovely to have you along for the ride!

Image by Wolf Suschitzky: Charing Cross Road #4, London, 1937

27th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-27T17:14:00.000+13:00

26th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-26T20:41:00.006+13:00

25th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-25T22:27:00.004+13:00

24th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-24T20:47:00.013+12:00

For the month of September I plan to document daily steps I have taken towards a chic, elegant and healthy life. My goal is to keep uppermost in my mind the kind of life I want to live. I will be focusing on all the small things I do each day that lead me towards my goal, rather than away from it.

Here are today’s mini-chic accomplishments:

Tonight’s post comes to you live via Eden Park in Auckland, where New Zealand rugby team the All Blacks are pummelling the French team (at least at the 56 minute point). Sorry, Vivienne, but the 2007 rugby world cup hosted by France, when Adrienne was there with her handsome husband is a very fresh memory.

If you aren’t so much into rugby, please know that France knocked New Zealand out of the 2007 Rugby World Cup and at the time, I was seriously worried that my boyfriend of four years (now my husband) was slumping into a deep depression. He is only just now reviving, and Lord help me if we don’t win this thing.

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But before the game even started I was focused on a different goal. I’ve borrowed Style Statement from the library and sat down tonight with lined sheets of paper to answer the questions. They are quite random and interesting questions, and at the end of the exercise I will have a better idea of my personal style (which encompasses all areas of one’s life, not just clothing).

I feel like I already have a quite clear idea of what I like and don’t like, but find the whole thing quite intriguing. And people who have already worked out their two word ‘Style Statement’ are quite effusive with praise for this book. Now it’s my turn!

I was charmed in the early pages with the list ‘Manifesto of Style’. Some of my favourites:

'Communicate who you are in all you do. Consistency is power. When the various parts of your life reflect your essence, your life moves in the direction you want it to.

Authenticity is energising, economical, and efficient. The better you know yourself, the clearer your choices. Self-awareness leads to true style.

Cheap is expensive in the long run. Why buy twice when you can buy once? Commit to quality and it will commit to you.

Use your best every day. Life is too short to wait for a special occasion to bring our your finery, your treasures, your brilliance, and the best of your love.

Choose from your heart, and your life will fill up with things you love. What works is what feels right.

Beauty transforms. Its capacity to generate pleasure, healing, and connection is divinely powerful. Beauty affects its maker and beholder every time.

Make more choices – moment to moment, day to day. You are the designer of your life. Be selective, creative, and intentional in every possible way.'

I especially like 'use your best every day' and 'choose from your heart'. What good is it saving your best for some day that may not come? Use everything you own now and if something is ripped, broken or used up quickly, so be it. Just what are we saving things for?

And as for 'Choose from your heart', that's how I decorate my house and dress my body. If you really love everything you choose, it will all go together and create your own personal and unique style.

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But before even that, once we got home from work I touched up my makeup. I almost never do this. I usually put my makeup on in the morning, and touch up during the day, but once I get home I feel free to forget about it.

Tonight though I lightly dusted my nose with powder, combed my brows, applied a touch more blush and a clear lipstick. It cost nothing and took a few minutes, yet I felt polished and pretty, and all for myself and my husband.

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Decided not to look further into selling my Cartier watch. I will own my purchasing decision and wear it happily. Plus, my husband banned me from doing it when I mentioned to him my thoughts! He wants me to wear it and love it. And I do. I am very happy.

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If you feel like you want to make September a chic month for you as well, please join me. You are welcome to share your mini-chic accomplishments for the day (or the previous day if you read in the morning) in the comments section. It would be lovely to have you along for the ride!

Image 'St Lazare' by Claude Monet

23rd Day in a Chic September

2011-09-23T20:57:00.017+12:00

For the month of September I plan to document daily steps I have taken towards a chic, elegant and healthy life. My goal is to keep uppermost in my mind the kind of life I want to live. I will be focusing on all the small things I do each day that lead me towards my goal, rather than away from it.

Here are today’s mini-chic accomplishments:

Bought three pairs of sexy undies (from a normal shop though!). I chose black and cream so I can wear them with my current bras. There were some gorgeous jewel tones available but I’m trying to be a good French girl and wear matching underwear. I did push the boat out with one pair, they are black and leopard print (in tones of pinkish red) but I can still wear them with a black bra.

I try and ‘get’ the underwear thing and now I think I do. It used to bother me when I bought the bra and two sets of matching knickers, because I'd think 'what if the knickers die first? what if I require a different pair of knickers but want to wear that bra?' (low-cut jeans versus dress pants etc). Now I have decided the colour and general style matches and that's enough for me. It's much less stressful.

Anne Barone calls sexy undergarments part of the French girl’s arsenal in staying slim, but that’s not why I bought them, I just felt like it. I’ve had a craving for leopard print which is bizarre, because I’ve never owned a leopard print item in my life. It is everywhere at the moment though, so eventually it has to seep into my consciousness. And I think it’s more mainstream and fashionable these days, not so Peggy Bundy.

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Had a nice, long exercise and errand walk on a sunny but cool Spring day. There were so many French people in berets everywhere because France play our team the All Blacks tomorrow night. I wanted to ask one group of men of a certain age if they wore berets all the time or if they were just flying the French flag, but I was afraid they would take offence if it came out wrong.

Many cafes had ‘Bienvenue’ on their blackboards too. It almost felt like I was strolling the Champs Elysees. And two French women visiting our shop were noted to be wearing black ballet flats. They are even tres chic as tourists!

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Dressed up again today and wore my 'better' clothes. Yesterday my husband asked where I was going and who I was meeting, in a suspicious manner, and today my friend Mary came into the shop, did a double-take and said 'whoa, where are you off to?' Am I so poorly dressed that an ironed shirt with French cuffs and cufflinks will impress those close to me so much?

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Researched a new lipstick colour at Bobbi Brown. I was upfront with the sales girl and told her I wasn't buying today but wanted to find a colour for my next purchase (as a sales girl myself I just loooove hearing that, not). She was utterly charming though and helped me choose a shade and put it on me, topped with a little gloss.

All I wanted was the holy grail of lipstick, that which mimics the natural colour of your lips but glowier. She had similar colouring to me so I asked what she was wearing. When she showed me the shade it looked so brown in the tube I almost disregarded it.

But we decided I'd give it a try and then dabbed a little gloss in the centre. I had her write them down because the effect was really lovely. She had put quite a lot on as makeup girls are wont to do, but I can imagine applying a sheerer layer and looking natural yet polished with a little panache.

If you are a neutral blonde with grey eyes (or a Soft Summer in Colour Me Beautiful-land) you may find these colours lovely too:

Creamy lipstick 'Burnt Sugar'
Lipgloss 'Naked Plum'

I really wish now I had bought them today, but I wanted to see how the colour looked when I got back to work. And it's nice to have something to look forward to.

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If you feel like you want to make September a chic month for you as well, please join me. You are welcome to share your mini-chic accomplishments for the day (or the previous day if you read in the morning) in the comments section. It would be lovely to have you along for the ride!

Image 'Champs Elysées' by Antoine Blanchard

22nd Day in a Chic September

2011-09-22T21:13:00.018+12:00

For the month of September I plan to document daily steps I have taken towards a chic, elegant and healthy life. My goal is to keep uppermost in my mind the kind of life I want to live. I will be focusing on all the small things I do each day that lead me towards my goal, rather than away from it.

Here are today’s mini-chic accomplishments:

Dressed up today. I wore a bib/tuxedo front white shirt that I normally reserve for dressier occasions, with a pair of charcoal wool herringbone pants, mini-fishnets and beige heels. It was just a normal day at work but it’s good to shake it up sometimes.

I also did something with my hair. It was more out of desperation really, now that I think about it. I washed and blow-dried my hair, and because I don’t like to straighten too often because it’s fine enough as it is, I looped it up, but then twirled around the bottom piece and pinned, until I could sort of imagine I belonged in Paris, if you squinted.

It even lasted through yoga class at lunch-time, including handstands. Please note I had changed out of my tuxedo-front shirt and wool pants to do this.

Speaking of handstands, oh my goodness they are so fun. It took me a good 9-10 months of kicking practice to even get up, but now that I can fling myself upside down against a wall there’s no stopping me. I really am like the teachers pet hoping she’ll get us to do handstands.

Sometimes, like both classes this week I get up every time and it’s really easy, other times it’s not so simple. Isn’t that just life though?

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Went to an appointment where I thought I might have to wait awhile, so took with me a small tote bag with two magazines, a book, bottle of water and a notebook and pen (for chic sightings, not much chance of that in the public health system). Naturally because I was so well prepared I was called in before I even sat down to fill out my form (literally before, my bottom hadn't even touched the vinyl seat).

I should tell you, I had a little dot cut off my leg a month or so ago. It’s bothered me forever, years I say, but I had my usual doctor tell me 12 months ago it was nothing to worry about, and then a plastic surgeon tell me just before he cut it out ‘it won’t be anything’. People, it was a melanoma. Now I am getting everything else checked out and a few more removed just in case.

What I want to tell you is to trust your instincts, even if you worry others will think you’re silly or a hypochondriac. It cost me quite a few hundred dollars to go private because public health doesn’t cover vague thoughts of ‘maybe’. But now it is proven to have been cancerous, I’m in, and covered.

I feel really lucky that I pushed for a specialist appointment, even if it was at my cost, and can’t help thinking, what about those people who don’t have $500 to get a hunch checked out?

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I'm still enamoured with my 'C'est normale' idea. Every time I start obsessing about food or diet I ask myself 'is it normal?' and everything is alright again. It's just magic.

I checked out from the library French Women Don't Get Fat on audiobook (can you tell I am obsessed with audiobooks at the moment? I can't believe I haven't discovered them earlier. Simply drive around and listen.). Mireille Guiliano herself reads the book and it's a pleasure to listen to her French/American accent.

I've read her two books, and they reside on my bookshelf, but today's listening reiterated the 'normal food in normal portions' message. I've heard it before but the saying is certainly true - 'when the student is ready the teacher will come'. It is only when we are ready to hear it that the message appears.

C'est normale. My chic mantra.

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If you feel like you want to make September a chic month for you as well, please join me. You are welcome to share your mini-chic accomplishments for the day (or the previous day if you read in the morning) in the comments section. It would be lovely to have you along for the ride!

Image 'Parisienne' by Ron di Scenza

21st Day in a Chic September

2011-09-21T21:34:00.005+12:00

20th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-20T21:49:00.007+12:00

19th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-19T21:04:00.011+12:00

For the month of September I plan to document daily steps I have taken towards a chic, elegant and healthy life. My goal is to keep uppermost in my mind the kind of life I want to live. I will be focusing on all the small things I do each day that lead me towards my goal, rather than away from it.

Here are today’s mini-chic accomplishments:

I decided last night as I climbed into bed that Monday would be a fresh start for me. I ate rather too much unchic food over the weekend - too many treat foods although meals were healthy. That is often my downfall.

So I decided on Monday I would be at my chicest at all times, and pretend I was being filmed or had people around me to see my actions, even if I was alone. If I couldn’t imagine Audrey Hepburn doing something, would I do it? Non!

After a day of this I have to say I feel less inclined towards tacky food and more in balance. One day down!

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Tried the olive oil/body lotion idea as mentioned on Anne Barone’s reader letters page (Renee, third letter down). It took a day or two for the lotion and oil to mix, and I shook it whenever I thought of it. The first couple of pumps were a bit separated but after that it was perfect. The texture of the lotion has changed, of course, but is not oily like it would be if you used straight oil. I used pure olive oil rather than extra virgin because that's what I had.

It will take a bit more time to sink in than a normal lotion, but I can already tell this idea is a keeper. I have breakfast in my robe between shower and dressing so it’s fine for me. If you get dressed immediately after a shower you might want to save it for weekends or times when you can take a bit more time, or reduce the ratio of oil/lotion down to 1/4 or 1/5.

At the end of the day my skin feels lovely and soft, and more moisturised than a normal lotion. It gives a pretty sheen to the skin too.

--

I got my husband to drop off a big bag of hotel mini-toiletries and other new personal care items to a Womens Refuge coordinator. Even though he grumbled a bit at having to do my errand on his day off, I could tell when he rung me that he felt quite chuffed at her happy response. 'That's my good deed for the day' he said.

The coordinator told him they were having a pamper night for the women soon so it was a very timely donation. I’m going to have another look around to see if there is anything else I can donate.

--

Have been reading Jenny Craig’s Simple Pleasures book which I bought from the op shop for a few dollars recently. I’m not really into Jenny with all the packet mixes and all, but I love that this book has a section at the front entirely devoted to holistic ways to gain balance in your life.

I don’t really care for the recipes which make up the rest of the book but the first two-dozen pages are worth the price and why I bought the book!

Here's a snippet:

`Mindfulness takes simple pleasures to the next level.

A simple way to begin being mindful is to attend to your breathing habits. Think of your breath as your centre, and breathing as a way to quiet your mind, especially in times of stress. Take a moment and try this quick version of mindful breathing. Afterwards, notice how relaxed yet alert you feel!

Next time you take a walk, focus on your breath. Then add your posture or stride to your focus. Notice the difference awareness makes in your experience.'

and

'5 self-care essentials -

- Mindful breathing
- Rejuvenating rest
- Cleansing water
- Conscious eating
- Invigorating movement'

Jenny is years ahead of me - this book was published in 1998 and she is talking about minimising possessions, decluttering, simplifying and paring down the wardrobe to stress-free neutrals.

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If you feel like you want to make September a chic month for you as well, please join me. You are welcome to share your mini-chic accomplishments for the day (or the previous day if you read in the morning) in the comments section. It would be lovely to have you along for the ride!

18th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-18T21:25:00.010+12:00

17th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-17T21:36:00.005+12:00

16th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-16T21:06:00.005+12:00

15th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-15T20:35:00.002+12:00

For the month of September I plan to document daily steps I have taken towards a chic, elegant and healthy life. My goal is to keep uppermost in my mind the kind of life I want to live. I will be focusing on all the small things I do each day that lead me towards my goal, rather than away from it.

Here are today’s mini-chic accomplishments:

Had a thought that one doesn’t need to be moving house to try and streamline their possessions, in this case I was thinking specifically of the kitchen. Already I have started looking through the pantry thinking of meals that can use up the ingredients we have, supplementing with fresh food.

We don’t have a huge stockpile because our kitchen and indeed current home isn’t large at all, so it won’t be a difficult task. But I thought it might be a good thing to do on a regular basis to avoid waste of both food and money. And to keep the kitchen cupboards from becoming too cluttery. It will be nice to have a fresh start at our new place.

--

Dressed up extra nice with a new top, skinny jeans and high-heeled boots. I straightened my hair and looped it up, and wore a silver and pearl necklace my Aunty gave me for my fortieth (it’s Italian!). Lip gloss and perfume were a given of course.

--

Dropped off bags of knitting yarn to the SPCA and made myself sad by walking around the dog and cat adoption areas. The women at reception (and others who came out of their offices) were very excited to see all the full bags of wool (five bags full, not three). Many of them were knitters and they make small square blankets so each cat adoption cage has one for the cat to snuggle into.

I then delivered a few more bags of knitting yarn to the Cats in Need Trust and ended up adopting a two-and-a-half year old cat Jessica who needs a quiet home with no other cats. I won’t be picking her up until we move into our new place so I have sponsored her for a couple of months.

The woman who runs the rescue cattery (it’s behind her home, such dedication) knew every cat individually and all their names. She showed me how cats that had been wild now came to her and hopped up into her arms, purring loudly and sometimes bunting. And it’s all thanks to the time she spends with them, loving them and gaining their trust.

Each had their own charm. I fell in love with a one-eyed cat Holly who had a best friend Cruskit - they slept in the same basket each night. I have barely gotten my husband to agree to one cat let alone two but I thought I could swing it with the one-eye sympathy vote.

I asked the lady which cat out of the ones she had introduced me to needed a home the most and she told me Jessica. Because Jessica likes her own space and doesn’t really enjoy having other cats around her she was easily stressed in her high-cat environment (sounds like me, I love being at home by myself and can’t stand crowds. Jessica and I, we were separated at birth).

So I took home a receipt for sponsorship of Jessica. She is getting her vaccinations and micro-chipping in readiness for her new life. Didn’t I adopt a pet in the last 30 chic days? I hope Jessica lasts longer than wee Atlas. He didn’t have much time left though bless his wee woolly soul.

I forgot to take a photo but in due course you will be introduced to our new girl Jessica.

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If you feel like you want to make September a chic month for you as well, please join me. You are welcome to share your mini-chic accomplishments for the day (or the previous day if you read in the morning) in the comments section. It would be lovely to have you along for the ride!

Image is NOT the wool I donated, but delicious Rowan Big Wool Fusion Yarn. Yum.

14th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-14T19:41:00.007+12:00

For the month of September I plan to document daily steps I have taken towards a chic, elegant and healthy life. My goal is to keep uppermost in my mind the kind of life I want to live. I will be focusing on all the small things I do each day that lead me towards my goal, rather than away from it.

Here are today’s mini-chic accomplishments:

Played opera on the iPod whilst tidying up the house. It made me feel so Italian and cultured!

--

Had a booking with my French facial lady today. Oh the bliss. My skin feels like velvet now.

--

Started reading new library book Shoe String Chic by Kerrie Hess on the recommendation of Vicki at French Essence. Also swooned at the latest French Essence 'de-cluttering the wardrobe' post. So inspiring.

--

Took advantage of the blustery wind and hung washing out to dry as well as opening windows and airing the house.

--

Curing myself of ‘it might be useful some day’ by getting creative with my declutter donating. I rung around a few places today and will be doing drop-offs soon.

A large amount of acrylic yarn, all brand new (from my grandmother-in-law when she moved into a home), to the SPCA for their crew of knitters who make dog jackets for chilly homeless canines, and a cat charity which is definitely not as big as the SPCA but the woman whose number is on the website knits cat coats for needy cats and also makes beanies, catnip mice, booties etc which she sells to raise money for their cat shelter. There are such lovely people around it makes my eyes prick!

Next I rung the Womans Refuge to see if they would like my overflowing collection of (new) hotel mini-items and assorted toiletries that I have gathered. It will be nice to think of them being used.

I’m not saying all this to toot my own horn, but that I care about where stuff goes. I am a bit of a hoarder in that way I suppose. I could never throw anything useful out. I would feel disrespectful. So I find out the places where it can be used by the people that need it. Moving is a good incentive to do it now.

--

Dropped off today a single-size wardrobe worth of my husband’s clothing. It was all quite expensive stuff, mostly from the 90s. He’d kept hold of it even though he knew he wouldn’t wear any of it again simply because it cost him so much and he still loved the styles (in a sentimental way). There were also some items from the 2000s which he just doesn’t wear anymore having lost a bit of weight (at least 10kg, over 20 pounds). I guess he’s been inspired by my streamlining, because last week he flicked through the hangers, and took out everything apart from two items. He asked if I would drop them off at the op shop.

I’d told him about a man our age in the Red Cross shop when I was there last week. He had a baby in a small buggy and was trying on a suit. When he came out of the dressing room he was asking the woman at the counter if she thought the pants could be let down successfully. My husband said not to tell him anymore because it made him too sad. Maybe that man made him ok about clearing out clothing he will no longer wear.

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If you feel like you want to make September a chic month for you as well, please join me. You are welcome to share your mini-chic accomplishments for the day (or the previous day if you read in the morning) in the comments section. It would be lovely to have you along for the ride!

13th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-13T20:45:00.007+12:00

12th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-12T20:24:00.006+12:00

11th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-11T19:09:00.011+12:00

10th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-10T21:38:00.012+12:00

9th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-09T18:46:00.014+12:00

Today's chic post has been overtaken by a major event in New Zealand's history. Today is the first day in the 2011 Rugby World Cup tournament and it's hosted by us.

For those of you in North America, imagine the Super Bowl where every state supports the same team. That's what it is like here with the All Blacks. Oh, and by the way, this Super Bowl lasts seven weeks!

It wasn’t until a few days ago that I realised what a big deal this was when couriers asked us if we were going to be ‘closing early on Friday’. We thought about it and realised there wouldn’t be many people around – either they would be attending festivities or going home early to avoid mayhem traffic.

Just to tie it in with the French, this being a French Chic blog and all, rugby is one of the biggest sports in France, with crowds of up to 80,000 regularly attending club matches in Paris.

I live with a sports-mad man, which is quite amusing to me because I grew up in a family which is not into sport at all.

I'm not going to turn into a butch rugby-girl, but today I took advantage of the fine early Spring weather and we headed downtown to join the crowds and soak up the atmosphere. Naturally we stopped and had a pub lunch and pint on the way.

(Top photo): giant rugby ball down by the Viaduct Harbour

(Below): building windows festooned

Me heading downtown

Amongst the crowds

A beautiful blue sky and the Sky tower

Where the All Blacks stay when they are in town apparently

French fans with decorated berets (aren't they handsome?)

French fans wearing flags

When we were here downtown the area was filling up fast - we heard it was 100,000 plus people.

After mingling with the crowds for a short time we decided we liked our own company more and went home. It was such luxury to both be away from the shop during opening hours! We were trying to remember the last time we had lunch out together (it's been years).

Lucky for us our two-storey house has a good view of the Sky Tower and tonight we watched a 3-tonne fireworks display from our bedroom window. It was rather spectacular. Some may say it's a waste of money and I tend to agree, but it was pretty all the same.

Vive le All Blacks!

8th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-08T19:49:00.010+12:00

7th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-07T21:31:00.008+12:00

6th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-06T21:20:00.006+12:00

5th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-05T19:13:00.010+12:00

4th Day in a Chic September

2011-09-04T20:00:00.008+12:00

3rd Day in a Chic September

2011-09-03T22:34:00.005+12:00

2nd Day in a Chic September

2011-09-02T20:14:00.000+12:00

A Chic September

2011-09-01T20:30:00.007+12:00

I’m embarking on another thirty days of chic. My goal is to keep uppermost in my mind the kind of life I want to live. The difference this time though is that I will be focusing on all the small things I do daily that lead me towards my goal, rather than away from it.

‘Petit à petit l'oiseau fait son nid’
‘Little by little the bird builds its nest’
(French proverb)

The kind of words that inspire me and that I like to imagine apply to my life are ones such as: elegant, stylish, chic, refined, quiet, simple, healthy, low-stress and low-maintenance.

September feels like a lovely fresh month to me. It is change of seasons – Spring here, Autumn in the Northern hemisphere. They are important times of the year for making sure we are heading in the right direction, both in fun ways such as how we present our clothed selves to the world, but also in deeper ways such as making sure we are living a life we are happy with and one that we feel aligns with our innermost self.

Each day in September I will document steps I have taken towards a chic, elegant and healthy life. Even just thinking about doing this latest 30 Chic Days has been having a positive effect on decisions I have made on what to do or not do at a given time.

Here are today’s mini-chic accomplishments:

Getting up when the alarm went off. This meant I had time for a leisurely start to my working day. If I turn the alarm off and roll over back to sleep I will be rushing around to leave the house.

Applying body lotion all over after my shower. I do this every day and it feels such a luxe treat. I also imagine chic Paris women doing the same thing before they head out for their day.

Spent time drying and styling my hair properly.

Enjoyed fresh fruit and a milky coffee for breakfast.

Attended a WW meeting, the first in six weeks. I decided to go monthly rather than weekly and it didn’t do me any favours. My weight today was almost identical to six weeks ago, so that’s something at least. I have now diarised to go every week. It doesn’t cost me anything as I am below my official WW goal weight; really, I don’t know why I stopped going as it always inspires me and sets me up for the week. And I still have a little way to go before I reach my actual goal weight – my ‘chic’ weight.

Walked to and from my yoga class at lunchtime. It’s a 20 minute walk each way and I’m glad the rain held out until the afternoon. I really miss the walk component if it’s too, too rainy (it has to be really wet for me not to walk).

Did some research on home decor. It seems my husband and I are in agreement on our preferred home furnishing shades and the style/s we like. We are seeing a house for sale for the second time on the weekend and even though we know it might not pan out, we are both decorating it in our head, on a budget of course. I know I'm putting the cart well before the horse, but it's fun.

And lastly I am heading off to bed early tonight, it will be around 9pm when I hop into bed with a book. This costs nothing, feels like a treat and is so good for you. I read this quote in a chick lit book I finished last month and had to save it – ‘Early to bed, early to rise, gives a girl energy and skinny thighs’ – Bella in Babyville by Jane Green.

If you feel like you want to make September a chic month for you as well, please join me. You are welcome to share your mini-chic accomplishments for the day (or the previous day if you read in the morning) in the comments section. It would be lovely to have you along for the ride!

The frugal millionaire

2011-08-30T06:23:00.006+12:00

To me, part of being chic is being good with money. In my opinion it is not chic to be irresponsible or unreliable with finances. Carrie on Sex and the City joked that she would be the old woman literally living in her shoe, because she had spent all her money on Manolos rather than investing in a pension plan. I don’t find that cute at all, in fact it makes me cringe.

I’ve always enjoyed motivating myself by reading personal finance books. If you make something fun to do, you’re more likely to do it. Forcing yourself to save money in a bank account rather than go shopping sounds dire, but turning it around and thinking ‘I’d rather save for something special than waste my money on that magazine/top like 20 others I own/book to cram onto my overflowing bookshelf’ makes me happy not to shop.

I read The Millionaire Next Door book years ago and loved the fact that most actual millionaires don’t get around in Dolce and Gabbana clothing with Rolexes on their wrist. They are normal looking people who are financially secure. They are basically frugal sorts who are married to frugal spouses (it’s very important that you are on the same page. If one is a spender and one is a saver, it won’t be easy).

They say ‘sure, enjoy a big home and expensive car, but after you’ve earned the money and not before’. And many millionaires they have interviewed don’t even do that (the after part). By and large it tends to be the wannabees who wear True Religion jeans (très expensive in NZ) and drive a Land Rover or Audi 4wd, and actual wealthy people who are more unobtrusive.

I love nice clothing and looking stylish, and so does my husband. We enjoy daydreaming about luxury items and travelling around the world staying at five-star hotels. But we are just as happy with our everyday lives, and build our stylish style on a budget, shopping when places have sales and wearing our clothing more often than others might.

I still think I have too many clothes. But whereas in another, previous life, where I had regular cleanouts of good clothing that was sent to the op shop, only for me to replace it again (that’s why I lived off my credit card), now I simply don’t shop for a long while, using and enjoying the clothing I have. It only is decluttered if I decide I have bought wrong, or downgraded to home-wear if it’s no longer good enough for going out.

I wear a Cartier watch that I paid a small fortune for brand-new ten years ago. Clearly I lost my mind then and thought that one needed a good watch to look the part. I do enjoy wearing it, and I like that fact that it is understated and not flashy, but if I was offered a cheque for the same amount I paid for it tomorrow, I would sell it in a flash. I just don’t need stuff like that to make me ‘feel’ wealthy. I would rather ‘be’ wealthy.

I have discussed with my husband whether I should look into selling my Cartier, as supposedly some brands hold their value. Usually it isn’t worth selling designer goods second-hand as you get a pittance back for them. He said even if I got the amount I paid for it, that much probably wouldn’t make that big a deal to our long-term plans, and I may as well wear it and enjoy it.

So I do. And it’s not to say we’re so rich that that amount of money doesn’t matter to us, but if I had my time over, I may not have bought the watch. Not only do you have to fork over the money, you also have to look after it, maintain it (there is only one Cartier repair person in the whole of New Zealand and it needs to be sent to him to even have the battery changed, you can imagine he’s not cheap), insure it (the watch is itemised on our insurance) and worry about it.

One of the authors of the Millionaire Next Door has written a new title, and I have been listening to the audio book in the car. It is called ‘Stop Acting Rich’ which is an updated version and pretty much advises us to stop ‘acting rich’ to ‘be rich’. Don’t spend your hard-earned cash on status items to look rich - save and invest that money for your future. Only when you are rich should you buy these items.

He tells us that many people in our neighbourhood that look wealthy are likely barely scraping by. ‘Neighbourhood’ is actually his main piece of advice – don’t live in a fancy one if you can’t afford it. Stretching yourself financially to afford a big house in an upmarket neighbourhood could mean compromising your financial future. It’s one of the fastest ways to go broke.

Not only will we get the biggest mortgage we can to afford the house, but then we consciously or subconsciously want to keep up with the Joneses, or the next-door neighbours with new cars, toys, trips overseas, private schools etc. A movie I saw recently - ‘The Joneses’ with David Duchovny and Tea Leoni - was a really illuminating look into this.

To ‘Stop Acting Rich’ (and start being rich), the author advises to buy in a moderate neighbourhood where you might be wealthier than the neighbours, but live at their level. Live below your means. You will be less likely to conspicuously consume if your neighbours aren’t. This is especially interesting for us as we have just starting looking to buy a house. I initially thought I wanted to buy a small townhouse or an apartment in an upmarket and expensive area, just because it would be nice to live in a nice area.

I am now changing my mind and thinking we want a normal house in a normal but still nice area, and we have been visiting properties within our price budget. And our house budget is one that we have decided we want to spend on a house/mortgage, not the maximum that our bank will let us have.

As tempting as it is to buy a bigger home fully renovated, or a bigger home requiring lots of work, we are committed to a low-stress European style (whatever that means nowadays, but I take it to mean the ideal Euro person who values experiences over things), we are looking at lower priced homes.

The millionaire next door authors reckon you shouldn’t have a mortgage more than twice your annual household income. When I work it out for us it is slightly less than the small house we are budgeting for. Scary, but that’s what it takes to be financially responsible.

It is quite exciting visiting houses for sale and imagining that we could own it, pay it off, decorate it in faded vintage French style amidst tones of off-white, cream, soft-beige, black and rose-brown. I can even see a bistro table and two chairs on the patio out the front.

Happy living within your means everyone!

Stylish Organisation

2011-08-17T19:44:00.017+12:00

After reading this article on stylish organising person Kristina Karlsson a few weeks ago, I knew I had to do something about our office at work. Because it’s just grown with us as we've run our shop over the past almost-seven years, I haven’t really set up many systems. There were a few labelled folders here and there and a lot of piles of paper. I also made the most of being surrounded by shoeboxes by saving the nicest and sturdiest ones to house items that are better filed that way.

I know that you cannot be serene and chic and in control of your life when you can’t find a vital document, or regularly unearth something where you have missed the deadline. In spite of knowing that it took a different tack to get me motivated in organising myself. That motivation, my friends, was style.

Seeing this Swedish expat’s Australian website made me covet her kraft paper range (the top picture in this post, alas it is not my office). Sadly I knew it would add up to a lot buying all her rather highly priced stationery items. Coming from thrifty Scottish stock I made me own version. Shall we call it Fifi K?

(Above) is a picture of our shop-office. It is part-way through my organising frenzy. I had already begun re-doing our filing systems but had been in too much of a hurry to take 'before' photos. Story of my life.

What did I do I hear you ask?

I used the same lever arch ring binders I already had, and made covers for the old labels with chopped up thick brown kraft paper shopping bags that were stashed away, some labels my Dad had given me when he was cleaning out his office and double-sided tape that yes, I already had. I don’t know where the tape came from and didn’t know how I was ever going to use such a big roll, but you never know when something’s going to come in handy (I am part hoarder/part minimalist).

My husband watched with interest this new hobby of mine. Afterwards he said when I had done one box it looked like a shoebox with lame bits stuck on it, but when I had done everything it looked very pulled together and professional. This is high praise indeed to me for I feared I was wasting my time (when I had so many other important things to do).

(Above), the finished product.

I used a simple ‘typewriter’ font and stole Janet’s idea of using no capitals, just because it looks cool, and that is what I’m all about in the office. Nothing else was ever going to get me to do my filing. But look, look behind my laptop (mine's the one on the right), can you see neat and empty-ish baskets? Me too!

I know my getup isn’t nearly as designer as Kikki K’s, but it’s a million times better than what it was and all it cost me was a few (several) hours of my time and a bit of ingenuity. That to me is far more satisfying that just buying a job lot (not that I wouldn’t accept a total Kikki K package if an office makeover tv show came knocking).

When I was thinking how I could pretty up the binders and boxes and make them look uniform, other than brown kraft paper I thought of nice wrapping paper (which some of us fold up and think we’ll use again. Sometimes we do, sometimes it stays in a drawer forever) and also the sheet music I wrapped a gift with here. Both would be thick enough and patterned enough to cover up logos and writing. They would be attractive for a home office and I am already thinking what I can do with my sewing room.

I did spend some money on our new shop office fit out. I bought two items – an inexpensive whiteboard, XL size, and a cork board of the same size. We’ve been meaning to get them for about four years, but clearly now is the time for us to make our move. And they weren’t even on special. I had to strike while the organising iron was hot, forgive me frugal gods.

In the course of reorganising the desks and shelves I also cleaned like there was no tomorrow. I took everything off the desk apart from the printer and cleaned it (and even though the printer stayed put, it was moved around and dusted under, and over). I removed all the storage boxes from under the desk, dusted and vacuumed and then sorted all the cords so they didn’t show on the desk as much. When I put storage boxes back under the desk I decluttered and sorted so there weren’t as many. The top of the desk was spray-and-wiped and everything was put back nice and tidily.

I used a sturdy cardboard box lid to contain all the little things that make a desk look messy, like stapler, address stamp, memo cube, lethal receipt spike, calculator and hole punch etc. They are still easy to get at though. Storage solutions may look pretty, but they have to be practical for everyday use too, or else you won’t use them and things will go back to how they were. I know that from experience.

I am so happy in our newly reorganised office now, and I promise one day when we’re a lot richer, I will shower myself with Kikki K’s goodies for providing the inspiration. If you haven’t already, go read the article. She’s very infectious.

Chic Habits

2011-08-10T06:33:00.005+12:00

Looking after le feet. Our poor feet. They are tromped around on all day, squeezed into shoes that aren't their shape, and generally forgotten about.

I've been doing two of my favourite things lately - using stuff up, and pampering myself. In my possession I have all manner of foot creams, heel balms and minty massage oil designed for the feet. These I have both purchased myself and been given as gifts. I didn't really use them though, and much as I like decluttering, I feel wasteful throwing out products I could use if I wasn't so darn lazy.

So I've rehomed all my foot goodies in the top drawer by my bed, where I also keep lip balms and creams, and body butter and rich moisturisers for the decolletage, hands and elbows. I apply all these things every night.

If I'm tired and it's late I at least do my decolletage and hands, but if I have gone to bed nice and early it's lovely to sit there using different lotions and really beautifying myself. It's a relaxing way to spend five minutes too, perfect for bedtime.

I have added feet to the list now. Some nights I might give my feet a small massage with the oil, others I might rub in the heel balm. Because it's winter here I put on bedsocks afterwards, this way I can use the thickest and most unctuous creams. In summer when it's too hot for bedsocks the lighter moisturisers will do and then I won't have sticky feet in bed.

When I wash my feet in the shower the next day they are very soft, and it inspires me to use my foot file more often than I used to. When I moisturise my legs after a shower I always include the feet too. We ask so much of them and then bemoan their ugliness (I hear it all the time in the shop, always from women). It's about time we gave them a little TLC!

How to stay young

2011-08-05T10:46:00.004+12:00

I wish there was a tape recorder going for the conversation I just had with a customer, because I don’t think anyone will believe me when I relay it to them.

A nice, well-dressed lady was buying a pair of shoes, and said she needed them to get around in the weekend and watch the grandchildren play rugby on a Saturday morning.

‘Grandkids!’ I spluttered. ‘You look too youthful to have grandkids, what’s your secret?’ I asked her. After I said it I realised it may be misconstrued as an impolite question (starting very young etc). Luckily she didn't take offence.

‘What cream do you use?’ I quizzed. ‘None really’, she said ‘I don’t use much at all.’ ‘Good genes?’ I asked again. ‘No, that’s not it. My mother has a lot of age spots’.

After a bit she said ‘Sex! Lots of sex. I’m not joking. Have sex. And have it a lot.’

Cue my startled face and then an interesting conversation. I’m no prude but she was very upfront and happy to tell me her secret to defying her age. And ten minutes before I'd never met her.

I told her about an Oprah show I saw a while back about a couple who were overweight, tired out and unhappy. They decided to rev up their life by making a pact to have sex every day for a year. You can imagine how vibrant, trim and healthy this couple looked after the year was up, not to mention happy and smiling, with an enviable energy.

‘It would be hard if you were single though’ I put to her. ‘Oh, my friends think I’m terrible’ she said, ‘but I have a 'friend' who’s ten years younger than me and we've been getting together for a couple of years. I’ve had marriage and I’ve had long term relationships, I just can’t be bothered with those now. I’m happy being single and just getting together with my friend every so often.’

I admit I was a little speechless (and impressed with her candour) at this stage. She recommended sex as the best exercise you can have, and of course it is fun and free.

Just in case you are wondering otherwise, she wasn’t tacky or tarty looking. She just looked like a pleasant, normal woman who might be standing in front of you at the supermarket checkout. Except that you might think she was 45 when she was really 55. I didn’t have the cheek to ask her age, but I was dying to know.

She asked if I always worked Fridays and I said I did, as she wanted to come in again for another pair of shoes and would come when I was there. Maybe I’ll find out then.

But in the meantime...

PS. Feel free to comment anonymously on this post!

More on Slimming

2011-07-31T20:58:00.009+12:00

‘French women appreciate that Rome wasn’t built in a day (and neither was France), but rather ‘little by little’. The progress of your life towards peak experiences in all aspects of living will take time.

Changes made drastically or all at once are often the sorts of modifications that don’t stick. Like New Year’s resolutions, they are upheld proudly for a little while, but then we fall back to our old ways. Arrive at your new ways gradually, and you will leave your old ways too far behind for easy return.

And if you slip up a bit, you won’t feel a failure; you will know how to get back on track because it isn’t all or nothing. It’s a game of inches.’

- Mireille Guiliano, French Women For All Seasons

This is how I am thinking about my weight loss journey. I arrived at the halfway mark pretty promptly and directly, and have been having a more relaxing time of it for quite a few weeks now. I feel ready to tackle the second half.

I love being slimmer, of my clothes looking much better than they used to, of my legs looking slimmer and my stomach looking (a little) flatter. I love that I feel sexier and more like the chic Parisian femme I know I am in my mind. I love looking like someone who gives a damn and cares about what they look like (I didn't often feel like that when I couldn't fit my clothes).

I have been ignoring my Weight Watchers tracker book for more days than I have written in it though, and as a result have found myself on the slippery upwards slope by a kilo or two.

I am keen to carry on becoming my most ideal self weight-wise. One thing I do know is that writing everything down that you eat and drink definitely helps if you’re wanting to slim down. It might be via a method like Weight Watchers or you might just jot down what you consume and in what quantities. All Weight Watchers does is help you know the 'price' of things.

You could do it after the fact or before, by planning out what you’re going to have for breakfast, lunch, dinner and morning and afternoon tea that that day. Getting into this habit will help redirect and refine what you eat. Planning ahead is the best way of course, but even knowing I’m going to be making a note of what I’m eating will help me be aware of it.

Sometimes I’ll eat ‘whatever’ anyway, but on writing it down, I realise it can be accommodated in the day, if most other things are healthy. Isn’t that how our French sisters do it?

Last night I wrote out my to-do list for today (a day off work and I will be at home). The first item on my list is ‘Be slim’. Normally my lists are a little more practical but why not be whimsical for once Fifi.

First thing in the morning, whilst waiting for the kettle to boil for tea to sip in bed with the Sunday paper (one of life’s little pleasures), I read a few pages from the above book.

It was enough to get me back into my chic mindset and look forward to being disciplined with my diet as a pleasure and enjoyable, rather than that I am depriving myself.

Chic Habits

2011-07-28T07:04:00.007+12:00

Lower your voice. In an interview about beauty, the iconic actress Jane Russell said ‘The director Howard Hughes took all of us – Lauren Bacall, Marilyn Monroe and myself – and said, “LOWER YOUR VOICE!”… Lauren Bacall still has the lowest voice of anyone I know to this day. The actresses of today all have these high-pitched baby-girl voices.’

When speaking, I try to make my voice soft and feminine and was aware it could be a little high pitched and girly. After reading this quote, I now consciously try to speak with a lower voice. Not abnormally low that I would sound like a man, just lower in my normal range.

I have to say I feel more chic when I speak in a lower voice. After all your voice is part of the entire package you present to people. Along the same lines I also try to slow down my speaking voice, as I often trip over my words in a rush to get everything out. Not chic!

Being ‘French’

2011-07-20T06:48:00.007+12:00

I've been thinking about whether I have actually put into my life what I love to read about. Have I been walking the walk? I'm sure there are women living in Paris who would laugh at the 'French girl' descriptions, or perhaps they really are all like the books say.

I love reading, thinking and writing about the idealistic French girl. Whether it's actually true or not really makes no difference to me. I am inspired to be a better (and better-groomed) person and that's the important thing. So here are ways I have incorporated some French-inspired ideals into my life.

Walking. I sometimes walk purely for exercise, where I put on my running shoes, a t-shirt and a pair of knit pants and walk for an hour, briskly. Lately though I have been blending my exercise walk with errands. Previously, I would walk for an hour, get back and then drive to the supermarket, bank, post office etc.

Now I often have gone out for a walk in my normal clothing, just adding a pair of comfortable walking shoes (not running shoes) and carrying a tote bag that slings over my shoulder. I can then walk to the bank, post office, shops. As long as I'm not buying too much I'm OK. Obviously for a big supermarket shop I take the car.

Natural hair and makeup. I have always worn makeup, however now I wear less. I want a subtle glow, and long, dark lashes. I use a sheer, water-based foundation and use a very light hand with powder, blush, lipstick, eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner and mascara. Often on a day at home when I wear just tinted moisturiser and even smaller amounts of the above I think how pretty the effect is. So as time goes on I can see myself wearing less and less - but always some.

With my hair, I had it my natural colour for many years (medium blonde), but now with greys creeping in it has started looking a little... drab. Bearing in mind advice not to stray too far from your natural colour, I have been having blonde highlights and my own colour lowlights together. I have read that French women embrace natural hair colours rather than anything too extreme.

Clothing. What I have taken from the French woman is to wear what I like and what suits me, regardless of what's in fashion. I still try new things, but have come to get a better idea of whether it will suit me or not.

I also know now that I don't like floaty boho pieces, but feel altogether more polished in simple, fitting shapes in soft or bright colours paired with neutrals and not too much black. The process of thinning out my wardrobe is ongoing, distilling the pieces down into ones I love and wear and which look great on me.

Using my good things. I light expensive gift candles, eat off our good plates, and enjoy one of the few bottles of good wine we have stored away for a special occasion. My husband has said this to me more than once that he loves that I use my good things.

We have four gorgeous small glasses rimmed in 24 carat gold that have to be hand washed (I learned that after putting two in the dishwasher - it used to be a set of six). I never used them because... they had to be handwashed. A few months ago, I got them out of the cupboard, hand washed them and used them that night. It felt like such a treat! They really are beautiful glasses and I don't mind looking after them.

Same with some wine glasses which were a gift. When I broke one and had to replace it, one glass cost $30. It put me off using them for a while, but now I do again. I put these ones in the dishwasher. If they break, they break. Better to enjoy them than keep them for, what? The day that never comes?

My Nana died last year, and she was famous for keeping her good clothing in the wardrobe and wearing old clothing around the house. She bought beautiful, expensive clothing but didn't want to wear it (it was 'too good'). Now her daughters and grand-daughters are walking around in her lovely tops and scarves.

She also had boxes of scented body lotions and perfumes stored under her bed, with cheap supermarket body lotion in the bathroom. Perhaps that comes from growing up during the Depression. I'm just sad that she didn't get to enjoy it.

So now when I look into the bathroom cupboard after my shower in the morning, I use my most expensive body lotion first. It doesn't last forever you know. Even if all I'm doing is going to work or staying home. I don't have that many big nights out to save it for.

One such day last week when I had moisturised top-to-toe in rose-scented Crabtree & Evelyn my husband commented how nice I smelt when we hugged. And even if he's not there I enjoy it too.

What French-inspired things are you doing with your day?

Image from Studio Nate on www.flickr.com

Being feminine in everyday life

2011-07-11T13:30:00.006+12:00

One of the things I love most about being born a girl, is the chance to indulge in the daily expression of being feminine. The ideal French woman is the ultimate in sophisticated elegance and femininity.

Here are some of my favourite ways to feel feminine every day:

- I remind myself to walker slower and more elegantly. I imagine I am a chic woman in a movie. Channelling Amelie or another movie character is fun if I am feeling in a frump. It immediately makes you lighter on your toes and more expressive, in a non-over the top way of course.

- Wearing soft, pretty colours near my face. Or softening a dark top with pearls or a scarf that throws a flattering light onto my complexion. Wearing a bright colour feels very feminine too. Not a clown of brights though, one bright colour with a neutral is my favourite way. Red with white, denim with Kelly green, black with soft blush pink/beige.

- Standing up straight, imagine a string pulling me up from the crown of the head. Imagine you are a ballet dancer when you move.

- Wear lightly applied makeup in soft, sheer tones that flatter my colouring. Ensure there are no hard lines and that everything is well blended.

- Eat and drink in moderation. Indulge in chic foods I could imagine a svelte Parisian woman eating. Sometimes if I am stuck for a lunch idea I ask myself, if I lived in my bijoux Paris apartment, what would I make? And I must admit, as much as I enjoy relaxing with a tasty brandy, I always feel more feminine with a sparkling mineral water.

- Doing daily stretches and going for gentle exercise walks. I do errands on foot if they are near. A tote bag is used including sunglasses, and a fold-up umbrella if the weather is inclement.

- Let not one critical word come from my mouth, either about myself or others. This is an ongoing challenge for me. I am working on overruling negative thoughts with positive ones. And trying to be so instantly judgemental.

- Make my thoughts positive – it softens the face. It really is incredible how facial expressions (on a seemingly neutral face) can make you seem hard or soft.

- Washing hair more frequently. Men love clean, fresh-scented hair.

- Take an extended bathroom spa time on the weekend. Exfoliate thoroughly over my whole body, apply lotion, polish toe-nails.

- Part of my coming home routine in the evening is to remove all jewellery. But I sometimes leave something on, ie pearl earrings. Just to be pretty.

- Lightly spritz with a feminine fragrance every now and then.

- Surrounding myself with feminine colours. Not just in clothing and makeup, but everything in my life – home furnishings, stationery etc. Some of my favourite colours are soft beige-pinks, creamy whites and silvers, dove grey, ethereal seaglass blue-green.

- Playing music as a background, much like movies do. Gentle classical pieces and relaxing spa music is fabulous for having on low as I go about my day. French hotel sounds such as Buddha Bar, Six Senses and Hotel Costes are a enjoyable alternative that instantly make my everyday life seem much more cool. They are often very sexy too. And that’s never a bad thing.

- Having softness around me – mohair rugs in the winter or soft, cool cotton palazzo pants in the summer. One of my favourite ways to make a difference to the bed is to place a light-weight duvet inner under the sheets as a kind of mattress topper. It makes your bed feel very luxe and cloud-like. And it stays in place under the fitted sheet, even without straps or elastic. I like that I can wash it regularly too, unlike my mattress, which doesn't really fit in the machine.

- Being a domestic goddess. It's true what they say about a home needing a woman's touch. As I enter or leave a room I try to do one thing to straighten or tidy. I open the windows every day, even in winter if only for an hour or two, so that our house smells airy and fresh. Making your home a peaceful retreat for you and your family is a very feminine thing to do.

I’m sure I’ve not listed many other details. What are your favourite ways of being feminine?

Watercolour by Beverly Brown

Guest Post: French Chic Rules

2011-07-04T06:58:00.006+12:00

A dear friend of mine wrote this piece which I wanted to share with you. It follows on from my last post. Enjoy.

French Chic Rules, by Coco:

After reading Fiona's post this morning, it gave me inspiration. A question was answered on how to maintain French Chic and a wonderful answer followed. It was brilliant because it's different for all of us, and what inspired the change in this woman first is what Fiona steered her back to for more inspiration. This is so true!

For me, hands down it was first the book Entre Nous, then the French Chic group, then I found Anne Barone. Other books followed after that, but these were the triggers for me, the ones that got me truly excited. It was like opening another door that showed it's possible to live this way. I think it changed me forever, (in my mind). Implementing those changes into my daily life has been much harder than I thought it would be.

This post will explain why I'm going to once and for all make permanent changes in my own life that align with French Chic rules. These are my rules. They may be different for someone else, but I'm choosing what is important to me.

What I've learned is that French Chic is more than a mental epiphany that you agree with. If you want to live it, you must decide and then take small daily steps toward that goal. It's not a grand sweeping gesture or a one-time makeover.

There is never a perfect time when the stars will align for your start date. If you are resolved to stand on your own and live this lifestyle, you must give in to daily effort. Effort needs to be planned, scheduled and eventually, bad habits will be replaced with good ones. It's all about finding your own personal road map.

For me, it's been very stop and go and that doesn't work. This all or nothing approach is like dieting, you either are on it, or you are not. It's temporary if you are not resolved to personal change for good. I have finally realized I'm going for a permanent lifestyle change. Change takes a bit of reprogramming, especially as women who tend to analyze and think too much.

I feel like I'm on the verge of something great and important to me. It's as if there is hope and a chance to improve my life in ways that truly matter to me. I'm ready to be honest and kick my bad habits to the curb. I'm ready to reclaim my life and live exactly how I want to live, down to the last details. It will require giving up some things that comfort me. Here are just a few of my bad habits, consider yourself warned:

-being lazy-couch surfing-watching too much reality tv-hiding behind my fat-letting trashy influences in my life-gossip-anger-fear-pity-eating junk food-eating fast food-eating out too much-shopping out of boredom and with no real plan-worrying what others think-fear of criticism-bad grooming habits-frumpiness-being ordinary-dressing safe-boring shoes-not having a signature look-rarely going out-instant gratification-not finishing projects-not having a hobby-eating in front of the tv-eating in secret-overspending on impulse-not participating in life-not seeking pleasure-insecurity-sporadic flossing :)-in general a lack of regular maintenance-lack of exercise-and the list goes on and on and on and on...

Each and every one of these could be a post on its own. This is important to me, as if my future depends on it. Before I always thought French Chic was something I could dabble in, but never become. Now I get it, I can change if I really want to. It's sort of like bringing your Inner French Girl to the forefront of your life and morphing into her. She's not someone you keep hidden away only to prance her out every once in a while. What's the use in keeping your best hidden?

My first role model is Coco Chanel pictured above. I admire her drive and determination to create a life. She had her own look, her own ideas, and she didn't waver. She fought for her own vision and was successful. She also overcame a tragic childhood to become a confident strong woman. I think she had fantastic instincts.

Reader Question

2011-07-01T20:53:00.009+12:00

Wendy from Canada wrote and asked me -

"How do you regain your chicness when you have "fallen off the wagon"? For example, last Fall I bought some new clothes, improved my hair and makeup, lost a few pounds and had been doing a lot of interesting reading about the chic lifestyle. I felt really good!

Now I am feeling blah- don't feel chic at all. Just received some recent photos of myself from a family dinner where I look terrible (of course my sister circulated them widely.)

Does this happen to you? How do you get the chic feeling back?

How do the French gals keep feeling chic consistently? Constantly buying new things and treatments is not an option for me.

I think this question is such a great one. I know exactly what you mean about things being blah. I highly doubt French girls buy new things and have treatments to feel better. They don't throw away their money like we (I) do (used to).

In your family photos do you mean you look unchic because you have gained weight and your clothes don't look as good as you imagined? I usually find this is the main thing - I have been slack with my chic eating and kilos sneak on. Well they don't sneak on, but I ignore them for a while. Or sometimes the way I've done my hair is not flattering (usually from doing the least I can get away with - terrible!).

Just as you have listed what you did last year - buying some new clothes, improving hair and makeup, watching what you eat and becoming a bit slimmer in the process and keeping up with your reading, I think you may have answered your own question. You probably won't need to spend any money though - you already have the new clothes, it's just a matter of fitting better into them.

I think for me I get all enthused at a change and after a while it becomes routine, but rather than let it stay as my new 'French-inspired regime' I slip back to old habits. We have to remind ourselves constantly, and re-remember what it was that inspired us - go back to the books or websites you read.

Anne Barone is where my initial excitement for the French life came from and I still get a thrill picking up one of her books. It brings back to me that magical feeling that I had from discovering something new and fun.

Printouts I have kept, magazine articles I have torn out and books I have in my home library all remind me and re-excite me too. Can you remember where it was first that you heard about chic French women, the European way of life, being chic and slim? Try going back there.

And of course, maybe you are just tired out and a bit overwhelmed if you have a lot on your plate. It’s amazing how fast good intentions of chic changes fly out the window when life happens. In that case it’s a matter of dealing with what you have to and making the most of what little energy you have left. Keeping up with the basics of self-care is a good goal during busy times.

Making lists of how I want to be is a great inspirer too. I make lists of the attributes that my most elegant self possesses, my ideal Paris girl wardrobe, how my dream home looks and functions, just to name a few. Reading through them helps me want to be that way and resist temptation or make the extra effort. At the very least I can daydream.

Think of yourself as a project and advise yourself accordingly as if you were a wise, older (probably French) girlfriend. What would you say? It is so easy to give others advice, and it is quite effective to view yourself from without. I always come up with really good ideas for myself (whether I take them on is another matter altogether).

Even at the end of the day it’s not too late to start afresh. If your day has been frazzled and stressful, why not choose an early night over opening a kingsize bar of chocolate and reality tv. How much more nicer (and infinitely more chic) would it be to wash your face and then read in your tidied-up bedroom with soft music playing.

And then, there is always the option of being realistic. It’s quite a relief to think ‘I don’t have to be anyone other than who I am. I can make the most of what I have and be happy with that.’ After all, what is more attractive than a big smile and healthy self-confidence about a person. Sometimes when I’m sure people are looking at me thinking ‘who does she think she is’ (and I am feeling suitably intimidated), how are we to know they are not thinking the exact same thing?

Wendy, I hope these ideas have been helpful. I would also ask my lovely readers if they have any suggestions for Wendy and the rest of us. How do you get that chic feeling back when you are feeling less than motivated?

Image from Paris Daily Photo

How to feel better

2011-06-27T08:23:00.009+12:00

I’ve been feeling a bit down lately. It started from being sad about Atlas departing, but has carried on to a general flatness and loss of interest in things that usually excite me. I also feel a little burnt out and detached from others.

I’ve never had proper depression but from time to time, right back to my teens I have had the occasional bout of mild melancholia. It’s also mid-winter here so that may have something to do with it, even though I normally love the cosiness of winter.

I know it will pass with time, but meanwhile I’ve been doing the following to help it on its way.

Being gentle with myself, not doing too much if I don’t want to. Rather than a whirlwind marathon housework day (which I just don’t have the energy for at the moment) I do the basics and spend some time pottering, sewing, reading and relaxing.

Having early nights – I start winding down about 9pm and am in bed reading well before 10pm lights out. I’ve been sleeping like a log thank goodness. I also find I feel worse in the evening, so it’s nice to wash my face good and early and hop into bed. I think my body needs lots of good, pure rest. One night last week I made noises about heading off to bed. ‘But it’s only 10 past 8!’ my husband said incredulously. That was quite funny. I managed to last until 9.

Not medicating with food and drink, but following my WW propoints guidelines. When I did decide to let loose with food and drink, I felt a lot worse. Being in control of my diet and my weight goes a long way towards feeling happier.

Remembering to breathe. Often I find myself holding onto my breath. It feels such a relief to let it flow in, and out. I need to remind myself many times a day.

Keeping to my daily routines.

Talking to someone. I told my husband last night I was feeling low. I feel better for having shared it, he had some helpful suggestions, and now he is looking out for me too.

Yoga twice a week – I have missed it a few times lately and have been only attending once a week. I’m sure this has not helped my low mood as I always feel great - energised, relaxed and positive after a yoga workout.

Walking outside. I walk to yoga and back, and I also like to do errand walks on foot as long as it's not pouring with rain. A light sprinkle is ok, I take an umbrella. I met two old colleagues for lunch one day last week, and walked to meet them. It was the next suburb over and took about 45-50 minutes each way but it meant I didn't have to find a park, and got some exercise and fresh air at the same time. It was inner-city too so quite interesting.

Reading – I have been alternating my positive thinking books with pure escapism (currently the first Sophie Kinsella Shopaholic book – that series had me laughing out loud they are so crazy).

Also escapism tv/movies. Nothing gritty or real for me I’m afraid (now or at any other time). Keeping up with the Kardashians and the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are great medicine I find. Not hours on end though. Just an episode here and there. I also like to rewatch favourite feelgood fun movies at times like this.

Clearing out clutter corners at home and at work. If an area is bothering me, even if I have other things to do, I attack the clutter corner. It often only takes a small amount of time, and I feel infinitely better and more able to tackle the harder jobs instantly. I went through all my trays at work on Saturday, filing and throwing out. A clear in-tray is a thing of beauty isn’t it? Even if it doesn’t last very long, but I will keep on top of it.

Taking vitamin C. I go through phases of taking vitamins, and at the moment I don’t take any, but I always have vitamin C in the cupboard for when a cold threatens to come on. I read in a model beauty book ages ago that models take a 2000mg dose of vitamin C to give them a boost. As shallow as I am, I have been taking the models advice.

Be selfish and say no. No to library books that don’t hold my attention, no to tv programmes or movies I have taped and decided I don’t like. It feels hard to do, and I don’t like to let people down, but learning to say no is so beneficial to our mental health. If I get a niggling feeling in my stomach when I think about something, I have been making a decision there and then to do something about it properly (not just putting it off).

Indulging in the little luxuries. I use all my lovely things and don’t feel guilty at all.

Don’t go shopping! No good purchasing decisions could possibly be made so I’ve been staying away from the shops.

Daydream about the future. I do this both by myself by writing down lists of my ideal lifestyle, home, personal style, person I want to be, and with my husband about what type of home we want to purchase, what we would do with tons of money if we won the lottery (not that we take out tickets, but still, it’s fun).

Plan ahead little treats. We are booked into our favourite 5-star luxury hotel right here in the city we live in a month or so’s time. Just for a night. They always have good package deals and it’s a mini-break we can still have while running a seven-days-a-week business. Looking forward to going really is half the fun.

Actually, I’m starting to feel a little bit better already. Have I missed anything off the list? What makes you feel better when you’re low? I wonder what a chic French woman would do to combat malaise?

Just a little more Atlas

2011-06-22T19:21:00.013+12:00

Thank you for all your lovely comments on the last post. I still feel sad and I sometimes don't feel I have the right to because we only had him for a short time, and we knew he was old already. Therefore I should have been expecting it, right?

It's funny how they get under your skin very quickly. I really miss seeing his little silver face around, and feeling him rest against my legs at night. For such a diminutive physical presence (about the size of a small cat) he leaves a big gap in the atmosphere.

Above, snug as a bug in a dalmation-spotted rug

He was a darling wee thing, who never failed to make us laugh with his not-quite right way of lying on something, be it a dog-bed or a cushion. 'Centre' was never in his vocabulary, and sometimes not even 'On'.

Enjoy these photos of our precious Atlas in the spirit they are shown. We will miss his woolly presence in our lives.

Atlas' Bed Fails

Melting off his bed at home

^^^^^

Tucked up on the edge of his bed at work

^^^^^

Not quite in. He would hop into the centre and then start twirling around, 'flattening the rushes' as they do. But he invariably ended up going off-centre. I would often have to reposition him.

^^^^^

Missing the bed altogether out the back of the shop. Gee those shoes and socks must be nice to cosy up to.

^^^^^

There are no words for this one. His best ever I think.

^^^^^

And back at home, asleep on the sofa. He loved dangling his head low. Clearly he knew that having your head below your heart was a good thing to do regularly (as told to me by my yoga teacher).

^^^^^

I'll be back in the land of chic soon.

Rest in peace little poodle

2011-06-15T06:39:00.006+12:00

Yesterday was a very sad day for us. Our wee man Atlas went to poodle heaven.

Within the last month he had declined rapidly, and became blinder and more confused. Unless we were holding him, or he was asleep on a lap, he spent his day bumping into and tripping over everything. He probably felt like he was under constant attack. A bit dramatic but you get what I mean. A lot of things he used to do with ease, like go for a walk on his leash, or take himself outside to the lawn and back again, he couldn't do.

So we made the hard decision to take him to visit the most lovely and compassionate vet I've ever met, and he is now reunited with his beloved original dad John, and matching brother Hercules. Atlas is young again, and racing around up there like a mad thing.

He only needed us for seven short months, but we were so glad to make it happy, safe, warm and secure for him, and of course offering a selection of delectable treats at mealtimes, walks on tap, a cosy lap for home-time, and a snug rug on top of the bed at night. He travelled in luxury in the car, wrapped in a German wool rug on the passenger's knee.

The photo above was taken in our shop a couple of weeks ago. He was wearing his red fleece top I made to keep him cosy now that it is winter here. Atlas had a private burial at home wearing this jacket, and wrapped in a matching red fleece blanket.

Rest in peace our little darling boy. We miss you already.

Atlas
20 February 1996 - 14 June 2011

Becoming and staying slim

2011-06-13T12:47:00.004+12:00

Back when I started this blog, just over a year ago, I wrote my first post giving up all my body secrets. How much I weighed at the time, my height, my calculated BMI and my dissatisfaction at this weight. At the time only two people, who did not know me in real life, did not even live in the same country as me, knew about my blog.

Over time, I have told my sister, mother, and one girlfriend about it. And many other people who don’t know me in real life started reading too. Even though my body was still bothering me, I felt shy about sharing it. I was also worried about jinxing myself too. Mere seconds (or so it felt like) after sharing my Countdown to 40 post, I fell off the healthy living wagon and was not as svelte and slim as I would have liked for my birthday.

For the way my mind works, I find it doesn’t work for me to have a goal time such as a birthday, Christmas, wedding or summer. I just rebel against it straight away. When I was married three years ago I was a little slimmer. I had it in my mind I would look lovely in the photos and then, relaxed. I slipped back into some old habits and as a result every time I look at our wedding photos all I can see is a podgy stomach in my satin dress. The poor posture didn’t help matters either.

The trouble with me is that I am not a naturally thin person, who happily chooses the low-calorie option. My sister has a current obsession with carrots and can’t get enough of them. I, on the other hand can be obsessed with any of the following: popcorn (non-natural), potato chips, ice-cream, etc. Do you see the difference here and how it would translate to the hips?

In the past I have dieted with Weight Watchers and achieved great results. Unfortunately my maintenance follow-up was not so great. Rather than continue on with my healthy eating, I would assume that once I was skinny, I would just stay that way. Sadly, that is not the case. By slipping back into my old habits, the weight would creep back on and the 5kg (11 pounds) I had been so diligent about saying Au Revoir to, was back with me. Bonjour!, it would say.

We all know that the ideal French woman (and indeed many real ones) are very disciplined with their caloric intake, thus ensuring they stay their ideal weight and are making the most of their lovely clothes, which are all the same size, not varying from 10 up to 12-14 as mine are.

Even though I said to myself ‘no more Weight Watchers’ after finding it too restrictive, earlier this year in March I found myself turning up to a Weight Watchers meeting near work. I decided that I would try the new points programme and told myself I would continue going to meetings until I reached my goal weight of 57-60kg (125 to 132 pounds). I was over 70kg (154 pounds) at the time, almost exactly the same as listed in the first post of this blog.

Clearly I needed a little external discipline to help me along as I hadn’t lost anything myself. And if I had, it was back. Now, I don’t buy this ‘perhaps that’s the weight you are naturally’ business. Not for me anyway. I could shovel in all sorts of crap foods. Sweet or salty snack foods are designed to make you want more. And I wasn’t happy with how I felt or how my clothes (the ones I could fit) looked.

I have found that you can train your palate, and that the more you have of something, the more you want of it, whether that something is a big, crunchy, plain salad, or a large bag of jellybeans. Even knowing this, and knowing how those two things make me feel (one, vibrant, alive and quenched, the other, a hot headache and craving for sugar) didn’t help me make good decisions all the time.

Rather than rebelling against discipline, I have decided to look at it like money. If you spend more than you earn, you go into debt. In my younger years I did just that, but now, for many years I happily have savings building up, and not many problems resisting purchasing temptation.

Not so with food. Obviously I regularly went into debt with food and drink, and had the not-so-chic figure to show for it. I now look at my Weight Watchers points as a budget to spend. And so I won’t go hungry or over-spend, I have to use it wisely.

I can happily report that the new Weight Watchers programme is working really well for me, and seems much easier to stick to for the long term. I can have mini blow-outs every week if I want (and I usually do) and still decrease on the scales. This is the way to keep me interested. If it’s not fun, I don’t want to know about it.

I never attended meetings before, so that may be helping too. By saying to myself I am committed to attending until I am a certain weight, meant if I didn’t want to waste my money, I’d better do something about it.

I am happy to let you know I am now 6-7kg (13-15 pounds) lighter than I was, and at least halfway to my goal. I have had to buy a few new items of clothing, because my jeans are falling off me. Some have been put away to get rid off as they are ridiculously huge, and some I am able to cinch in with a belt for now. Jeans that I formerly could not sit in for more than five minutes at a time.

So I guess the purpose of this post is to face the fear and do it anyway. My fear was if I wrote about my weight loss, I would jinx it once again. Now I know this is silly. The books I have been reading lately, old books I have had for a long time (a few listed below) reminded me that I make up my mind, I make my reality. I wrote down a quote the other day which really spoke to me:

‘I know what I like, I know what I don’t like. I know the way I want to live, and I make it happen that way’. – Anthea Turner

Current reading:
Inspiring Messages for Daily Living by Dr Norman Vincent Peale
Seeds of Greatness by Denis Waitley
10 Days to a Great New Life by William E. Edwards
The Power of Positive Thinking by Dr Norman Vincent Peale (I’ve been listening to the audiobook in the car)

How to be happy

2011-06-04T06:42:00.009+12:00

In the January 2011 issue of Real Simple (from the library) the focus is on happiness. I haven’t even gotten into the body of the magazine yet because the Editor’s page captured me. Let’s face it, Editor’s letters aren’t usually the best part of a magazine. They have to go through and point out highlights of that month’s copy and I don’t usually even glance at them.

This one though, struck a chord with me. Delving into how to be happy, she says happiness comes in small doses. When she was young she thought she would be happy when she was grown up and that happiness would coat everything ‘like a blanket of snow, covering everything in sight with a dazzling, seamless beauty’.

Now that she is grown up, she knows that isn’t the truth, and that happiness is more than likely to be found in the little things. Things such as:

- Changing from high heels to slippers when she arrives home.
- Eating a piece of chocolate.
- Watching a funny tv show.
- Reading a short story.
- Hugging.
- Wiping the crumbs from the kitchen counter.

I agree with all of these, and it’s true, they do make you feel happier. In any one day, these things are guaranteed to lift my mood and make me feel happier.

- Clear the dining table of ‘stuff’. Put it all back where it belongs.
- Ditto the living room. Straighten it up.
- Enjoying a cool glass of water.
- Re-watching a favourite tv programme or movie.
- Reading or re-reading a fun and enjoyable chick lit book.
- Going for a walk.
- Enjoying the house after I have vacuumed and dusted.
- Hanging laundry on the line and then bringing it in to fold after a sunny day.
- Using up the last of something – body lotion then recycling the bottle or vegetables in the fridge for a slowcooker meal or soup.
- Putting a casserole on in the Le Creuset and then enjoying the aroma as it cooks
- Decluttering and organising a drawer or cupboard.
- Washing the dishes by hand.
- Finishing off one job before starting another, rather than multi-tasking.
- Presenting a meal to my man and hearing happy noises from him about it.
- Changing the bathroom handtowel frequently so it is always clean and dry.

With the world being such a place of turmoil, both man-made and with natural disasters, it is sometimes easy to feel scared or fearful for the future. I think it's very important to keep our homes as our sanctuary of peace and order. An oasis to come back to.

And by giving out an energy of positivity and calm, we not only keep ourselves healthy and happy, but it affects others around us in a good way too.

We do what we can for those close to us who are in need of help, or by donating to charities, but it's not going to do anyone any good if we fall to bits. By taking small bites of happiness where we can will go a long way to helping us enjoy this precious, short life that we have.

Image from this cool post on Audrey H

Thrifty Yet Chic

2011-06-01T20:39:00.003+12:00

It was my Aunt’s 60th recently, and I gave her an old book (really old, 1871!). I wanted to wrap it a bit special and I came up with the above.

Firstly I wrapped the book in white tissue, then I sewed an envelope of old sheet music from the thrift store. I used my sewing machine and a vintage cotton that had the prettiest soft rose/beige/antique colour to blend in with the off-white paper but have a little bit of pink in it.

Finally I topped the parcel with a bow which was stitched and curled, and stuck down with a piece of double-sided tape. Don’t make the mistake I did of using a huge piece of double-sided tape. My poor Aunt had to really attack the parcel to get in. A tiny square of tape will do, just to keep the flap down.

If you see books of music at the thrift shop, grab them, even if you don’t play an instrument. They are good for wrapping gifts the normal way too, and covering books or storage boxes. I did plan to stitch a square of the paper on the centre front of a plain greeting card, sadly I ran out of time, but that would be a nice touch too. Imagine an envelope made out of it, with a label for the name or name/address.

I’m not really into paper crafts or scrapbooking, but just thinking of ideas for this music I have is quite fun. I prefer to do it the thrifty way than spend a fortune on custom supplies though. Sorry Martha Stewart!

How others see us

2011-05-26T21:49:00.009+12:00

Serving people over a glass counter as I do most days of the week, I notice small details. Not in a fact-finding way, just in passing, it seeps into my consciousness. It verifies someone’s image to me in an unthinking way.

There seem to be two types of women as far as I can see.

Picture if you will, a harassed and unkempt woman. She opens her handbag and searches for her wallet through the used tissues and receipts. Her hands are dry and nails perfunctory. She might be wearing wedding and engagement rings but they barely manage to bring beauty to her hands.

She curses as she opens her wallet and discovers her cash-card is missing. Panicking to herself what pocket she might have tucked it into she discovers it floating around in the bottom of her bag. I see this more often than you’d think. This type keeps every receipt from the past six months in her wallet. Some bags and wallets literally bulge with paper and coffee cards. And the offenders don’t necessarily have young children either (when I know you have to carry around everything under the sun).

Here is our other type of lady (the one I try to aspire to). I have served a couple of these in the last few days and their image stays with me in an altogether more pleasant and serene way.

A handbag that looks either new-ish or well looked after is placed on the counter. A pair of moisturised hands with manicured (polished or bare) nails reaches in and pulls out a tidy wallet. These women never seem harassed or rushed, even if they might be. The wallet is not cracked and it is not dirty. She opens it up and chooses her card.

While she is paying, I have time to notice that she has a lovely soft fragrance on, light makeup, hair styled. She is wearing becoming jewellery and colours that light up her face, often with a soft scarf draped around her neck. A couple of our customers that come to mind have lovely gentle speaking voices and smile often.

Have you ever noticed that some people seem to have a permanently annoyed look on their face, even when the situation is neutral or good? Not these lovely creatures. Their faces are soft and pleasant.

Think about how you give yourself away when next out shopping. As for me, I plan to clean out my bag and wallet. I do it on a semi-regular basis but it’s due for another. It is probably these feminine ladies at the counter who are the catalyst for a bag-clean at my place.

My favourite way to bag-clean is find a nice big space of carpet at home and tip everything out. Hold the bag upside down and shake it. It’s best done when you are due to vacuum, not after. Consider everything that goes back into the bag. Some things that I carry around ‘just in case’ only come out when I do this. Perhaps I will have to be more ruthless next time.

Amended to add: Please do not think I am being judgemental. Reading back through this post perhaps I come across that way. At times I have portrayed the first woman, and, to add insult to injury, I am rude to the person serving me because I am in a grump or have been charged the wrong price (again) at the supermarket.

When I post these observations it is not to make others feel bad (I really hope you don't take it that way), but to show how others inspire me to be a better version of myself.

As my sister wisely pointed out, most of us are a mix of these two women and usually would sit somewhere in the middle. We all have off days, and we also have things in our life that others do not know of, sometimes they can be major in the case of illness or unhappy life changes. And then picking someone to bits because their bag is messy seems rather pathetic.

And of course if you have a child or three in tow, my hat goes off to you just keeping it together. Not having children I don't know how difficult it is to get everything done in a day (and have time for hand-cream).

My blog is a place to be light-hearted and pretty and I hope you take my posts that way.

Image of Ines, who would surely have a very neat bag, from keepitchic.com

Having discipline

2011-05-24T07:05:00.005+12:00

The French woman famously has ‘steely discipline’ when it comes to matters pertaining to everything. In her grooming, how she dresses, the way she carries herself in public, in not drinking too much, what she spends her money on and the amount of outside events she allows into her life.

I don’t know about steely discipline, but some discipline would be helpful. I may rebel against myself at first, but I am slowly coming to understand that when we limit ourselves, it’s a better thing overall. And the more you use it, the easier it seems to become.

Think about how you might be with none. Possibly this was you as a teenager or in your twenties. The thing is, you can get away with it then. You can stay out late and still look good the next day. If it’s done too often though, time catches up and you can see it on the faces of those who don’t take the time to look after themselves.

Imagine again the disciplined you. You wake at the same (early-ish) time each day. You go to bed (mostly) at roughly the same time. You have one or two glasses of wine only a few days per week and enjoy nutritious and delicious food in small amounts. You allow yourself plenty of time to get ready in the morning and attend to your wardrobe and home regularly, thus preventing meltdowns when something that is needed is in the wash, or people are coming over and the house is a tip.

Getting ahead of myself is the best way I find to keep on top of things and feel happy and contented. I plan ahead at least a few days at a time and make notes in my diary of things I want to do. I know that I am a lot nicer to be around on the days when I have put things away as I’ve used them, planned what I’m making for dinner, and have clothes that are clean for yoga.

Last week on my day at home I did a big pile of mending which I had been putting off. Sewing buttons on, mending thin patches in jeans, hemming pants that were slightly too long. The next day was such a thrill to get dressed for work as I had all these lovely, tailored-for-me clothes hanging up. Things like this take discipline but instead of seeing it as a bind, I can choose to see it as helping me be free.

Image of Audrey Tautou from sofeminine.co.uk. Do you you think she looks like this by eating chips lying on the sofa?

Taking good care of your skin

2011-05-21T20:31:00.011+12:00

Originally posted on La Vie En Fifi, 29 November 2009

I have my Mother to thank for having a smooth complexion at 40. From about the age of 12 or 13, Mum bought me good, basic skincare to use twice a day. I think first it was Simple soap and Simple moisturiser, trying different brands along the way. I remember a Revlon foaming cleanser and moisturiser and after that the famous three step Clinique soap, toner and yellow moisturiser.

I progressed to Estee Lauder in my 20s and loved that. It kept me broke but I didn’t care. Then, I put expensive skincare as a priority above hair products and even clothing. After working for Parfums Christian Dior (skincare, makeup, fragrance) I got to try their wonderful and pricey products and for the first time used serums under my moisturiser, day and night.

Even though I spent a lot on skincare I always secretly wondered if serums were a have. I don’t have an answer for you even now sorry. I think if you can afford them they are lovely to use and do seem to sink in straight away, and your skin feels extra lovely after you put the night cream or daytime moisturiser over top.

The funny thing is, I always had problems with oiliness and also acne for a while when in my late teens and early 20s, so it’s quite novel for someone to come up to me and say ‘You have beautiful skin’ or my husband to remark on it looking nice. I heard a long time ago that if you have oily skin when younger it will age well, as opposed to people who have less oily, less troublesome skin as a teenager (are they drying out like an Autumn leaf as they get older?).

I realise now you don’t need to spend a fortune on skincare. Or perhaps there are just more and better budget options these days. I have heard that because L’oreal is owned by Lancome, the L’oreal products are much the same as Lancome products without a few of the more expensive ingredients.

I prefer to go down the more local route. There are wonderful New Zealand and Australian made skincare lines which just offer good, basic products without the many chemicals that big brands seem to list on their packaging.

No matter the brand, the main ingredients you want to avoid are petro-chemicals. Petrolatum and mineral oil (or ‘huile minerale’) are dreadful for your skin. I found that I had tiny bumps all over my skin which disappeared when I read labels and avoided anything with these ingredients.

I am currently enjoying Australian brand Natio products. The packaging is all white, with simple containers and tubes and plain yet chic labeling. The products are scented with essential oils so they smell pretty yet fresh. I love a nice light fragrance in my beauty products. 'Fragrance free' is not a selling point to me! Prices range from around $14-$30. Quite different to brands I have used in the past.

Another favourite is New Zealand brand Skinfood. I buy their cleanser and facial/body moisturisers from the supermarket and they are around $13. They do not have parabens or horrid ingredients and I love the refreshing scent from orange and lavender oils.

Here is my regime.

In the morning I wash my face in the shower. I use a tiny amount of foaming cleanser as my face can be quite shiny when I wake up. Then I mist or pat an alcohol-free toner over my face to moisten and apply my serum and SPF moisturizer. A light eye cream patted underneath my eyes rounds off my skincare routine for the morning.

I let this all soak in while I have my breakfast (a poached egg on Vogels original wholegrain toast, no butter – an egg a day must be making my skin happy too).
In the evening I put a white towelling headband on to hold my hair out of my eyes and apply a thick, creamy cleansing cream massaging it into my skin and removing with a large size facial tissue. Rubbing the cream gently around my eyes removes all mascara and eye makeup too (I don’t wear waterproof mascara though).

Then I apply my alcohol free toner to a flat cotton pad and refresh my face, making sure all makeup is gone from around my eyes. When my toner runs out I plan to try making my own toner. One simple recipe I read is to make a strong green tea brew and when cool decant into your toner bottle. I have purchased rose water and glycerin, and witch hazel from chemist shops before, but they seem to have not good ingredients listed on the label as well so haven’t used those again.

After toning I apply my serum, a rich and creamy night cream and richer eye cream than the morning.

Doing your cleanse, tone, moisturise, two times a day, every day for more than 25 years, that is how you keep your skin looking as nice as it can, for as long as you can. Genes play a part but environment is so important.

I read a terrible statistic about how aging going to bed with your makeup on is. I can’t remember the numbers but it made me vow never to do it. I can remember a handful of times in the past 10 years I have done this. It’s not good the next day. My poor skin felt like sandpaper crossed with a dried out piece of driftwood crossed with gravel.

That combined with a hangover, which, lets face it is the reason why we fall asleep with our makeup on, do not for a fresh complexion make. I don’t have any at the moment, but have found a pack of moist facial wipes and a thick night cream in my bedside drawer to be very useful for late nights. Definitely better than nothing.

And while I’m on skincare, remember your neck and décolletage. In the morning I apply an SPF30 sunblock to neck and chest, and in the evening before retiring (this is also in my bedside drawer) I apply a body butter or body cream to the same area. I live in fear of finding myself with a crepey and lined decolletage one day. My morning and night routine allays these fears somewhat.

Basically the top drawer in my bedside table is full of skincare for hands, elbows, décolletage, face and lips. And a notepad and pen to empty my head.

I can’t believe I almost forgot my favourite part of le regime. Twice a week when I’m in the groove, or twice a month when I’m not, a gentle exfoliation and then facial mask, both washed off with a face cloth and warm water. Lovely.

And to finish: my favourite skincare quotes:

‘Nature gives you the face you have at 20, it is up to you to merit the face you have at 50.’ – Coco Chanel

‘There are no ugly women, only lazy ones.’ – Helena Rubenstein

‘Beauty is an attitude. There's no secret. Why are all brides beautiful? Because on their wedding day they care about how they look. There are no ugly women – only women who don't care or who don't believe they're attractive.’ – Estee Lauder

Image of the fabulous spa at George V Four Seasons Hotel in Paris

The Gospel According To Coco Chanel

2011-05-20T22:13:00.010+12:00

Originally posted on La Vie En Fifi, 22 December 2009

I just received this book from the library and am so excited to have it to read when on holiday over Christmas. It looks like a good contender for my own personal library wish list. I was even more excited to discover a website of the book which has a great excerpt from the 'On Style' chapter (a small part of it below).

And if you haven't already found it, read about my Great Aunt who nursed Coco Chanel in the late 1960s whilst working at the American Hospital in Paris.

For nearly a hundred years, Coco Chanel has been synonymous with every piece of clothing we consider stylish — and with lots of stuff to which we never give a thought. Throw open your closet door and you will find the spirit of Chanel. If you have a collection of jackets for tossing on over a pair of jeans, the better to look as if you’ve actually dressed for the occasion — as opposed to simply parked the lawn mower, given your nails a once over with the nail brush, and walked out the door — that’s Chanel.

Any black dress is a direct descendent of Chanel’s 1926 short silk model. A knee-grazing pencil or A-line skirt? Chanel. Jersey anything? Chanel again. She gave us real pockets, bell-bottoms, twin sets, drop waists, belted cardigans, short dresses for evening, sportswear including riding breeches, and the need to accessorize madly at all times. Anything that’s got simple lines, skims the body, is easy to move in, and affords the loading on of a lot of jewelry is Chanel.

So too is anything in which prettiness trumps quirkiness. Chanel ran screaming from the latest fads. She considered them to be expressions of cheesy grandstanding, and, anyway, they rarely held to her standards of simple elegance. Thus ponchos, stirrup pants, or backless dresses cut in a manner that reveals your thong are definitely not Chanel.

If you own anything that has emy husbandets (and you are not in the armed forces), an unnecessary amount of fabric, ill-fitting arms, or Hulk-size shoulder pads, it is not Chanel. Anything related to the grunge revival, featuring ripped tights that look as if you’ve barely survived a mugging? Uh, no. Anything in which you cannot breathe, sit down, or get into a car without flashing your lady bits—well, I don’t even need to say it.

When Chanel observed that “not all women have the figure of Venus* yet nothing should be hidden,” this is not what she was talking about. (To clarify, she meant that the loose, long T-shirts we reserve for fat days do nothing but make us look fatter.) * Actually, a lot of us do; what we don’t have is the flat-chested, slim-hipped figure of Chanel.

The Chanel aesthetic is like the force in Star Wars, surrounding, penetrating, and binding together the universe of fashion, now and forever.

As I write this I’m wearing a pair of J. Crew boy jeans—even though they’re square through the hip with straight legs and a button fly, they are cunningly cut to prevent your looking like an appliance box—and a chocolate brown, long-sleeve cashmere T-shirt. Both pieces descend straight from Chanel’s once-shocking ideas that with a smidge of fancying up, menswear could be easily retooled for the ladies and soft, body-defining fabrics (some of which was normally used for underwear) could make the simplest garment seem luxe.

Excerpt from The Gospel According to Coco Chanel - Life Lessons From the World's Most Elegant Woman by Karen Karbo

One-of-a-kind

2011-05-19T12:21:00.006+12:00

My friend Mary creates the most exquisite jewellery. It is often made from salvaged/reclaimed items, as with this necklace above. In a previous life, the main component was a silver-plated teaspoon. I love the way the bijoux charms nestle into the spoon bowl.

She has recently opened an Etsy store, and I thought you might like to know about her beautiful and sometimes unusual one-of-a-kind creations.

Mary is one of my chic mentors (she is very talented and has great taste), and also my aromatherapy masseuse. She lives in a tiny and gorgeously decorated inner-city cottage with her husband, and is European in so many ways. Mary walks most places, wears accessories with style and panache and puts together charity shop finds in her own chic way.

Click on the link below to see the rest of her current range at her Etsy store:

Mary Crosby Design

True Pleasures

2011-05-17T22:14:00.003+12:00

Originally posted on La Vie En Fifi, 25 November 2009

Below are two of my favourite quotes from True Pleasures: A Memoir of Women in Paris by Lucinda Holdforth. I read this book last year.

'The Paris of my imagination is a site of pleasure and history and beauty. It's a place to recharge myself as a woman. Each time I come back here it's like greeting an older woman friend, one who is rather grand and imperious - a great dame, in fact - who likes me to look my best, to have my wittiest conversation to hand and to be on my toes all the time.'

And another,

'The house is small and modest, a sign of her commitment to financial freedom and independence.'

The house we currently live in is rather small and modest, but rather than just exist in it and wait and wish for a bigger place, I am now embracing its size, decluttering and making the most of things (it's not that we need a bigger house, we just need less stuff).

We were very lucky in that it was thoroughly renovated immediately before we moved in, with everything whitewashed, brand new kitchen and brand new dark donkey-brown carpet. Every single light switch and light fitting was new, even hinges and handles on the doors (brushed silver). If we had to choose the decor, we would probably choose the one we ended up with.

I love the second quote as it reminds me we are being good stewards of our money by not wasting (whether rent or mortgage) our funds on a large abode. And if I find myself wishing for a bigger home, I remember the chic Parisiennes living stylish lives in their tiny apartments and all is well again.

Image from randomhouse.com.au

Laws of (French Chic) Success

2011-05-16T20:13:00.007+12:00

Originally posted on La Vie En Fifi, 17 November 2009

I used to listen a lot to tapes of business dynamos like Tony Robbins and Brian Tracy hoping they would turn me into a corporate go-getter. Well that didn’t happen, but I did learn a lot of interesting and useful information.

One of the best was a Brian Tracy series: The Universal Laws of Success and Achievement. Here are some of my favourite ‘laws’ from the first session: The Laws of Success. I already know they apply to everything in life, but coming back to them after reading all the French Chic books I have, was surprised how much they apply to creating a more European lifestyle too.

Thoughts objectify themselves. You become what you think about.

To achieve success in any area, you must have a clear image of that success in your mind – a mental picture of your idea of success.

Your outer life will mirror your inner life. There is a direct correspondence between your experiences and your thoughts and attitudes.

Whatever you believe… deeply… becomes your reality.

What you truly value and believe in is reflected in your actions, even though your words may say otherwise.

Whatever you concentrate on and think about repeatedly, becomes more a part of your inner life, and consequently your outer life.

Virtually all we do is automatic, the result of habit. Habits that move us away from our goals must be changed.

You are a living magnet. You attract people, events and circumstances that harmonise with your dominant thoughts.

You are free to choose what you think about, and therefore free to choose all other parts of your life.

A positive mental attitude goes with success and happiness. Optimism makes you cheerful and pleasant, and more likely to succeed.

--

I especially like the last two. I think things do seem to go your way more when you are happy and I'm sure people definitely respond to the positivity of others. The 'living magnet' one too made me think of all the lovely bloggers I've 'met' and blogs I have read on the subjects of French chic, simple living, living well with less, downsizing and frugality.

Image from Hip Paris blog, with accompanying cool checklist on How to be a Parisienne

Frugal Times

2011-05-15T21:11:00.008+12:00

Originally posted on La Vie En Fifi, 4 November 2009

I read an article in the New Zealand Herald last week because the headline caught my eye – ‘luxury’, ‘fashion’ and ‘frugal’ in the same sentence? It was in the business section which I read faithfully (and often first), in my defence. I am happily shallow, but also aware of the world out there.

As I read on, it occurred to me that the ‘news’ is what French, and European women in general have been doing all along.

‘Luxury labels suffer as fashion for frugality thrives.’

‘Women this year opted to ‘shop their closets’ and accessorise to update their wardrobes rather than buy new clothes. When they did buy new clothes, women tended not to snap up fancy pieces that could only be worn on certain occasions, but rather evergreens’. ‘ Frugality is fashionable, even for the wealthiest consumers.’

Interestingly, cosmetic and fragrance luxury brands have been hit too, with consumers trading down to supermarket and chemist names. I have heard the French luxury cosmetic company I used to work for is struggling for sales here in New Zealand. After leaving there, and my generous staff discount, not to mention staff product allocations (free), it was hard to pay retail afterwards, and I have been trialling simple, inexpensive and often local brands with good results.

Something good to come from the hard times we are experiencing currently is the wealth of new books out (which of course I reserve at the library, rather than purchase straight away) on the topic of stylish frugality. It's actually trendy to be frugal nowadays. Five years ago I was definitely out of vogue.

When I looked for these books even a few years ago, the only frugal titles featured nerdy looking families in bad clothing (no offense to the Economides, I love their book America’s Cheapest Family and I am in awe of how they live their life).

Nowadays chic young women write books like The Thrift Book: Live Well and Spend Less by India Knight and The Spend Less Handbook: 365 Tips For A Better Quality Of Life While Actually Spending Less by Rebecca Ash (the first one is better, but get both if they’re at the library) and many, many more as evidenced at Amazon.

Does anyone sense the irony at the rash of books out which want you to purchase them in order to be frugal? I even saw a book at a shop in town which professed to help you stop shopping. But you have to buy the book and then stop shopping apparently.

I also find it very interesting that being frugal almost automatically means you become greener as well. Reusing, recycling, repurposing, using less etc. It all knits together perfectly.

Two other books which I really enjoyed pertaining loosely to this subject are Deluxe: How Luxury Lost Its Lustre by Dana Thomas (very illuminating, I was glued to it and often would audibly gasp at the audacity of those nasty big luxury brand conglomerates!) and Affluenza by Oliver James (rather dry and wordy but interesting nonetheless).

Image of luxury home in France from homesgofast.com. I decided against purchasing this chateau in the spirit of frugality.

Simple and Pretty

2011-05-14T19:40:00.007+12:00

Originally posted on La Vie En Fifi, 14 November 2009

A magazine article I have torn out (from English Woman & Home) has great interviews with three modern day beauty gurus.

Firstly, Bobbi Brown. I have one of Bobbi’s makeup books (‘Beauty’), and whenever I see photos of her or read an article quoting her, I am always admiring. I love that she often looks very natural, but in a lovely, lightly made-up way (not the other kind of ‘real’ natural). She says ‘You should wear your make-up to look like a better version of yourself, not look like someone else’.

Her philosophy is ‘simple and pretty’ and believes anything that makes you look ‘hard’ is not a beauty enhancer. ‘There is nothing prettier on any skin tone than pale pink blush and a slick of pink lipstick. It’s so fresh and feminine.’ She believes eyeliner is even more important than mascara (although she recommends both) in making you look awake and drawing emphasis to your eyes. I often only wear mascara, so after reading this with breakfast this morning of course I put eyeliner on too!

Trish McEvoy, the second interviewee, says sunscreen worn daily is the best advice she has been given. ‘If you take two women in their fifties, or even in their thirties, you can tell which one has been wearing it and which one hasn’t’.

Even though I didn’t start wearing sunscreen regularly until my mid-late twenties, I was never a big sunbather (it just took too long with my fair skin!) so I am grateful for that. I love Trish’s ‘pet peeve’: ‘People who brag about how little sleep they need. If you don’t sleep enough, eat well and exercise, you’ll never look or feel your best.’ I really agree with this. I have read your body needs plenty of sleep in order to rejuvenate and ‘reset’. If you get too little sleep this can be a factor in being overweight. And you may have heard the old saying ‘an hour before midnight is worth two after’.

I often go to bed around 9.30-10pm at the latest, and some nights if we have eaten earlier I love to sneak off 8.30-9pm with a book and the cat. She has her routine too, and often perches herself near the bottom of the stairs eyeballing me while I brush my teeth and wash my face. Then, when I go up, she springs up too with such vigour that belies her 16 years and happily settles in at the foot of the bed. None of the beauty experts mention pets as keeping you young, but I believe they do. It has been proven they lower your blood pressure.

I love Trish's outfit in this photo too. The cool, wide belt and thin body do it for me!

Lastly, Laura Mercier is mentioned. Her cosmetic line launched promoting ‘classic colours rather than seasonal trends’. Well, she is French after all. She believes keeping yourself happy is the best beauty secret of all, which may mean allowing yourself to enjoy dessert once in a while and choosing an activity you enjoy rather than being a slave to the treadmill. Amen to that.

Now I have a confession to make, I don’t actually own a single product from any of these womens’ lines (yet, unless Bobbi’s book counts?). But I can still be inspired from them right?

Bobbi Brown image from wandena.com
Trish McEvoy image from the-coveted.com
Laura Mercier image from makeupbag.net

Update: there is no longer a cat residing in this house - she departed for cat-heaven aged 17. But with the poodle to take her place on the bed I am content. He is a great blood-pressure-lowerer as well.

Style Experts

2011-05-12T22:11:00.000+12:00

Originally posted on La Vie En Fifi, 9 November 2009

I was lucky enough to watch a live show featuring Trinny and Susannah last month at my local mall. There were a lot of people there and it was standing only. Even so, with impatient legs stuck in one spot, the hour they were on stage flew by. These upper crust English girls earn their money. They were hilarious, motherly, helpful, compassionate and comedic all at once.

I don't remember exactly what Trinny wore, but I fell in love with Susannah's outfit. It was a knee-length light navy-blue dress, with a wide-ish belt in black. I remembered that I read French women wear navy and black or brown and black together. I could never get my head around navy and black, but now I can.

Women looked vastly different and for the most part better after a simple change of clothing and a ten minute hair and makeup. Their most emphatic message for the audience was to be fitted for a new bra, or at the very least shorten the straps of your existing one to give the girls a lift (I did this as soon as I got home!).

Another message for us was to not wear black all the time. I am the opposite to this though. I haven’t worn black for so long, save for a few black tops and a shirt. I don’t often wear them as I feel they drain the colour from my face and create black circles under my eyes. I am wanting to find out ways to reintroduce black into my wardrobe that is flattering for fair colouring as I think it is very chic if worn properly.

Scarves and necklaces are a good way of adding light around the face, as are earrings (pearl or diamond – my pearls are real, my diamonds are faux). Also being more careful with my makeup, adding more mascara, healthy natural pink toned blush and perhaps a sheer red lipstick to brighten up the complexion. These are some of the ways I am returning to a small amount of black.

Trinny and Susannah’s main rules for shopping are: Make a list of what you want to get before you go out shopping. Look in your wardrobe and make a list. Work out your budget. Work out how much money you have. Think ‘what is it I can never find in my wardrobe that I need’.

The last statement is the one that I think is the best. It’s easy to buy multiples of the pieces you already have, but to find out what it is you always miss having, that’s the hard question.

A favourite quote from Trinny and Susannah comes from one of their many books. I think it was the one about changing your life by changing your clothes.

‘Keep your hand out of the cookie jar. Resisting temptation may be the key to great personal style.’

And another:
‘The best beauty treatment is personal size reduction.’

This is what I am working on right now. It is often only a few (well, OK, five) kilos between feeling chic or not!

Image from zimbio.com

Best. Soup. Ever.

2011-05-10T21:10:00.004+12:00

Originally posted on La Vie En Fifi, 24 October 2009

Bold statement I know. There are a number of reasons (and my sales pitch on) why this is the best soup ever.

Quick and easy to make
Frugal
Lots of nutrition - brightly coloured vegetables and good amount of protein
Low in fat/calories
Delicious

The recipe came from New Zealand House & Garden many, many years ago. Since then I have made it a lot (My mother is the soup queen and I think I have inherited this gene thankfully). It has an ingredient list that can be memorised easily, and I make different versions of it for variety of flavour, and to use up fading vegetables.

Here is the original version:

1 brown onion, chopped and sautéed in a little olive oil
1 400g-420g can of plain or flavoured chopped tomatoes and juice
1 cup red lentils (rinsed and picked over – take out the odd yucky looking one)
4 cups/1 litre chicken stock (or any other stock flavor you like). I use a mix of my homemade chicken stock and store-bought stock powder/cubes.

(In my head, the recipe is: one onion, 1 can tomatoes, 1 cup red lentils, 1 litre stock – easy to remember!). Also, all the basic recipe ingredients are 'store cupboard ingredients' - I always have them on hand.

Bring to the boil and simmer for 20 minutes.

This soup has been my staple lunch at work for this past, and other winters. It reheats beautifully in the microwave. I have even been known to make it before work (when I really have no extra time). The really quick version involves throwing the onion into the other ingredients without sautéing and then cooking for 20 minutes. If you were really pressed for time you could use the stock, a can of flavoured tomatoes and the red lentils, no onion.

My current batch, which was extra tasty, involves a handful of fresh pumpkin cubes. These cook within the time frame and I just break up the pieces with a potato masher when done. It’s a nicer soup a little rustic than pureed smooth. I also added fresh oregano (just tore the leaves off the stem once washed) from my garden pot, dried sweet basil and six bay leaves (which are removed after cooking).

Other additions that are good:

As I said before, any tired vegetables can be chopped up small (since you’re not pureeing) and added
Fresh or dried herbs
A little tomato paste
Any cooked meats if you like, however the lentils provide good protein, so not needed for a balanced meal.
If you have any, a dollop of full fat plain unsweetened yoghurt added just before serving is divine, as is Parmesan. Yum
Different flavoured tomatoes or spices for a different type - Italian, Mexican, Indian

I also rarely make the single batch, even though it’s just me eating it. Doubling the quantities doesn’t take much more effort, and I often freeze the second container for an instant week’s worth of lunches. I either eat this by itself, or with bread, or cheese on toast.

I am a big fan of slow food and slow cooking, but this is my favourite 'fast food' recipe.

Update 9 November: I have just made another batch of this soup, including pumpkin as last time, but with Indian flavoured chopped tomatoes and an extra teaspoon of yellow curry powder. I also used dried soup mix rather than red lentils. Dried soup mix contains red lentils, barley, split peas etc. It needs to be cooked for an hour and a half rather than the 20 minutes for red lentils only. I think this Indian version is my favourite yet.

Bon appétit!

European men are different

2011-05-07T20:55:00.007+12:00

Originally posted on La Vie En Fifi, 20 October 2009

(above, moi outside Paris Opera House. I did not know one does not belt the trench then, one ties it. I do now).

During my European trip, 2001 - first and hopefully not my last, I spent a few days each in Paris, and Rome. Firstly, I dressed up. Knowing we would be travelling through Paris (a female friend and I travelled together - both of us were single at the time) I packed a skirt and high heels even though travelling with a back pack.

My travel companion, on the other hand, wore track pants (gathered at the ankles), a sweat shirt and a bum bag (fanny pack). Such a shame. One of our days was spent seeing the sights and the other, shopping, window shopping, and soaking up the atmosphere. On the shopping day I suggested we split up for that day and meet back at our hotel later on. I feel a bit mean about this, but I wanted to enjoy the ambiance of Paris by myself, and in appropriate attire!

(above, outside Sacre Coeur, Montmatre). In Paris, a young man came up to me and asked if I would like to go out with him. 'I'm only in Paris tonight', I said. 'One night is all I need...' he replied. And not sleazy either! Rather, fun and flirty. I declined politely.

Next in Italy (above, viewing the ruins in Pompeii, so worth the bus trip). The same travelling companion and I walking along a footpath in Rome, admiring beautiful building after beautiful building, wondering at what family-run trattoria we should dine that evening.

Next thing, a suave and svelte Italian gentleman on his scooter (of course, they were everywhere in Rome - young women in pencil skirts and high heels with open-face helmets on, balancing a coffee on the handlebars and stylish young men in fine cut suits) rides close to where we are walking, making kissy faces to us. Again, fun and flirty.

These light hearted encounters just add to your day. No wonder French and Italian women like to dress up!

Go to bed earlier, get up earlier

2011-05-06T20:55:00.005+12:00

Originally posted on La Vie En Fifi, 15 March 2010

I read this advice on The English Organizer, about how to gain time. All the tips are fab, but the one that resonated with me most was about going to bed earlier and getting up earlier. For the past few months, I have been getting up an hour earlier, all so I can drink hot tea with milk and read – usually blogs, less often a book or magazine. I can have a lovely time catching up on all my favourite blogs and do my own writing. It’s now routine for me to get up earlier and I absolutely love this time.

In the height of summer when I started doing this it was lovely and light already, but now we creep towards Autumn it’s a little dark at first (I get up around 6-6.30am, not that early compared to a lot of folk. Our shop doesn’t open until 9.30am so we often leave for work around 9am) but I still enjoy this early time, even if the blinds are still down and the lights are on for the first part.

It’s guilt free time too. I know it’s not good to surf the net when at work – there are important things to do there, and being self employed I’m not doing myself any favours. And in the evenings I feel like a terrible wife glued to the laptop screen while my husband is sitting by himself on the sofa. So I get my fix first thing. And I’ve restarted my ‘book’, you know, the book we’re all writing. I feel like a bit of a fraud writing, I don’t know why. But I love reading so much and I have told myself – even if no one else reads it. Write a book you would like to read.

One I just finished and which I enjoyed immensely is A Spring Affair by Millly Johnson. I do love chick lit to relax and escape – there is so much uninspiring formulaic stuff out there though that it’s exciting to find a new author. Some I love are Sophie Kinsella (all of them), Emily Giffin (all of them) and Emily Barr (have only read Plan B but loved it – and it had a French angle).

I picked up A Spring Affair from the library new releases shelf and upon reading the back cover found it was, ta da, a new genre ‘decluttering chick lit’. Imagine! I had to borrow it of course and found it was such a lovely, funny, enjoyable book which actually had me in tears over my breakfast at the end. I love those books! And it had decluttering advice all the way through. A book tailor made for me I think. And maybe you too if you're a chick lit fan and as obsessed with decluttering as I am.

I went to the author’s website after I had finished and apart from a section on decluttering (yay), found tips for budding authors. If nothing else, she said, write 250 words per day, no matter what, and at the end of the year you will have a 91,000 word book. And don’t edit, just keep writing. Edit right at the end otherwise you will lose momentum. So that’s what I’m doing in the morning now. Before I start anything else, I write at least 250 words and then I am free to bring up Google Reader to read all those inspiring blog posts.

So I can heartily endorse The English Organizer’s advice on going to bed earlier and getting up earlier. After all she says, what do you do in the last hour of the evening anyway, lie there on the sofa thinking I’m too tired to get up and wash my face, watching tv that isn’t even any good, nothing actually productive. Sometimes I do that exact thing and go to bed at 11pm. That’s only 7 hours sleep – not nearly enough! I like to start getting ready for bed around 9 and be in bed reading by 9.30-10. I aim for 9 hours sleep like apparently French women get, but 8 is a good minimum.

Update: I still go to bed earlier (mostly) and get up earlier (more often) a year after reading this advice. I really, really love my early morning time with a cup of hot tea. And recently I borrowed the audio book of A Spring Affair from the library and listened to it in the car (12 cds!) over the course of a month. It was so enjoyable.

Image from fantasticfiction.co.uk

My Style Philosophy

2011-05-05T22:37:00.012+12:00

Originally posted on La Vie En Fifi in two parts, 7 and 13 October 2009

I would often scoff at those lists of ‘10 pieces’ espoused by fashion (or rather ‘style’) experts. But thinking now, I have most of the items on them. Beige cotton trench coat. Check. White cotton fitted shirt/blouse. Check (times many). Little black dress. Check. Check. (a long and a short one). Classic watch (Cartier Tank Francaise in stainless steel and gold. I will die wearing this watch – hopefully not before my nineties). Dark jeans, aged jeans. Plain white Converse All Stars. Simple jewellery that I wear every day. Striped Breton tops. So I am in fact that list, walking around.

I used to think I needed to try harder to understand fashion and update my look each season. Then when I read European women (and French women particularly) buy good quality pieces they wear for many years, sometimes twenty, I was thrilled. I had found my style sisters.

I actually find Vogue magazines not as appealing as I used to (the fashion pages anyway, I enjoy reading the beauty and lifestyle articles) and can’t remember when I last bought one.

And I often feel my best in simple, classic but chic clothes, with fresh, light makeup and unfussy hair. I can think better. On days when I have made an effort to try a different style or go for the tousled hair look, well the sooner that day is over the better. I get nothing done and feel horrid and frumpy all day.

I found an article I had torn from Cleo magazine over twenty years ago. Entitled ‘50 must-have classics’ numbered 1-50 (I always love a list) with photos to match. Sure some are dated, but surprisingly few.

50 must-have classics, dated May 1988

1. Filofax
2. Kilt (as good as this list is, I just can’t fathom this one, even though my family has Scottish heritage. Just where would you wear it?)
3. White t-shirt. An enduring classic, only the shape will change as you purchase new ones over the years. Then they used to be literally square shaped with sleeves, now lovely and fitted perhaps with a v-neck and a hint of lycra (not too much though) in the cotton.
4. Chambray shirt. This really takes me back to the 80s, but I have seen chambray shirts in the shops recently. Yes really.
5. Levis 501s. I think these were perhaps the first of the ‘it’jeans. Mind you, before these were Calvin Kleins and I remember fondly my Skin jeans, which looked a lot like today’s True Religion ones in dark denim, straight legs and thick white stitching. I coveted, and then loved once I had a pair of, Skin jeans because of their white bulldog clip hanging from one of the front belt loops!
6. Raincoat. Specifically a Burberry type trenchcoat and the example shown is a beige/bone colour. Yum.
7. Argyle socks.
8. Brogues.
9. Hermes scarf.
10. Kelly bag.
11. Fair isle sweater.
12. Denim jacket.
13. Lacoste polo. I have just bought two Ralph Lauren polos for summer, in white and pale pink.
14. Brown loafers.
15. Bandanna
16. Akubra hat. The magazine is Australian!
17. Sailor top. The word Breton was mentioned. Of course.
18. Clutch bag.
19. Leather gloves
20. White shirt
21. Leather belt. Medium width, neutral colour.
22. The watch. Simple is the key – a clear face with a sturdy band.
23. Terry toweling robe. Presumably for wearing at home!
24. Ray Ban sunglasses – both Wayfarers and Aviators are shown. Funny how both are back in fashion, but maybe they never really went away?
25. Twin-set
26. Leather skirt
27. Rolex
28. Blazer/jacket
29. Cowboy boots
30. Lacy underwear
31. Black turtleneck
32. Pearls
33. Perfecto leather jacket – the classic biker style in black as worn by James Dean and Elvis Presley.
34. Riding boots
35. Speedo swimming costume.
36. White lace handkerchief.
37. Tuxedo
38. The Little Black Dress
39. Pumps
40. Charm bracelet
41. Evening bag
42. Scarf in lambswool or cashmere
43. Man-style pyjamas
44. Hoop earrings
45. Cameo
46. Lacy blouse
47. Russian wedding ring, first created by Cartier
48. Beret
49. Plimsolls – ones shown look to be white canvas Bensimon or similar
50. Evening gloves

I knew I had kept this article so long for a reason. I just couldn't bear to part with it.

And of course, the visuals to complement the list. Forgive the low-res-ness. You can click on the images to see them slightly bigger.

Feast your eyes on 1988 folks. When I was photographing the pages my husband looked over and said 'wow, those are some 1993 fashions'. When I encouraged him to guess again, he guessed correctly on only the second go! That's my boy. The Universe really did listen to me when I asked to meet a nice boy 'just like me, only male' even down to the same Libran birthday.

I hadn't planned to keep this article for (gulp) 21 years; I found it when going through some things of mine I didn't even know still existed at Dad's place a year or two back. I was so tickled that I liked the same kind of style then, I filed it in my 'personal style' clear file (everyone has one of those, right?). Even at 17-18 I was drawn towards the same kind of classic Euro style.

Savon, et Livres

2011-05-04T21:48:00.004+12:00

Originally posted on La Vie En Fifi, 6 April 2009

Two things I cannot do without (or rather cannot refrain from purchasing) are lovely soap, and books. Not when on a strict(ish) budget, and apparently not when travelling.

On my 3½ week European trip several years ago, where I took a backpack because I thought that’s what you do (imagine me checking into the Millenium Hotel in Kensington, London. The Concierge’s face was something else. So unchic). I bought stacks of delicious olive oil soap in Paris and books in London.

What was I thinking? Both purchases were near the beginning of my trip, and I really regretted their impulsive acquisition when trying to fit everything into my bag in Rome.

But when I arrived home, the half a dozen bars of soap, very old fashioned and very French looking, with a vaguely medicinal fragrance took me back to the little side street chemist in Paris I bought them from, every morning in the shower for months afterwards.

The books, not so much. I could have bought them at home, and eventually I sold them to a second hand shop. It hasn’t cured me though, and the bookshelves are constantly being rearranged to fit my new purchases.

I’m very particular these days though on what I spend my money and bookshelf space on. If it’s a novel I can read it from the library. Only keepers make their way home for good. Either favourite fiction, or non-fiction I think I will reference in the future.

Op shops and the Salvation Army are a great place to browse for books too. I have found so many that are on my wants list. Books that I wouldn’t have gone into Whitcoulls to buy, but when they are 50c or $1 I’ll give them a good home. And others that are out of print so aren't even available from new bookstores, even better.

And as for my soap addiction? My husband has banned me from buying any more until I use up my stock. Currently I am enjoying Crabtree & Evelyn lavender. Not just for old ladies! The scent of Provence in my own bathroom - a serene way to begin my day.

Image of edible (not really) French soap from apartmenttherapy.com

True Stories from Paris

2011-05-03T18:55:00.004+12:00

Originally posted on La Vie En Fifi in two parts, 27 January and 5 February 2009

My Great-Aunt has some amazing stories about her years of living and working overseas as a nurse. She was telling me the other day that she was a private nurse for Elizabeth Arden's sister in the late 1960s in Paris. This lady was the behind-the-scenes person for the beauty company. My Great-Aunt would stay with her overnight in her Paris apartment and her household staff would be there during the day.

Miss Arden had to go to hospital for some reason, and couldn't decide whether to book into the American Hospital in Paris, or be privately nursed in either her home in Chantilly just outside of Paris, or in a suite at the Hotel Ritz. She finally decided not to stay at the Ritz as her dog didn't like the food there. Yes, really.

My Great-Aunt said you would see people sitting in the hotel restaurant, dog on a chair next to them, eating from their own plate at the table. Incredible.

My Great-Aunt also told me that when she worked in the American Hospital in Paris in 1969, she nursed Coco Chanel (the real deal). One evening Mademoiselle Chanel did not feel like having a bath or a shower, so had my Great-Aunt empty bottles of Chanel No. 5 into a basin for a sponge bath. When she was finished, my Great Aunt was instructed to pour the fragrance down the sink.

During the same hospital stay, a very young Karl Lagerfeld came in to see Mme. Chanel, among other visitors. When I asked her if Coco spoke much, she said she never stopped talking, however it was in very fast French and my Great-Aunt was still learning to speak the language at that stage so didn't catch much at all. Such a shame! Imagine having a conversation with Coco Chanel and the questions you could ask her.

The image above is of the L’espadon restaurant at the Ritz Paris from paris-best-restaurants.com. Just dreamy.

Living a chic life

2011-05-02T21:39:00.008+12:00

Originally posted on La Vie En Fifi, 3 October 2008

With my interest in all things chic, how could I pass up a book entitled 'Chic - life as it should be'. Stylish and authoritative. One reviewer said the author Colin Cowie made Martha Stewart look like a slob, and reading this book confirms that as a fact. Apart from writing books, he is a very highbrow events co-ordinator.

It is a very inspiring read, makes me get up and declutter a shelf after finishing a chapter. For example, rather than have a bedside table cluttered with everything you could ever want to reach for, Colin has the top drawer all but empty, with the essentials laid out on one of those lacy thin rubber mats cut to fit the drawer (to stop everything sliding around).

For me, body butter, hand cream, lip cream, lip balm, pen and paper, mini alarm clock and a few other bits and pieces (I'm too embarrassed to tell you about my bookmark collection so I always have a pretty one to use). And then you would have a few choice items on the top. He said his goal is to have his home look like a chic hotel.

This book also has many pictures of Colin's home in NYC. His style is a little masculine for me, however I can appreciate the stylish orderliness and I covet his labelled, stacked, grouped closets and cupboards.

An excerpt from the book:

The foundation of any well-run home is cleanliness and order. An orderly house will not only give you pleasure, it will also make everything in your life, from writing a thank-you note the day after a fabulous evening to opening your home to over-night guests, that much more effortless.

Living elegantly means creating a place you look forward to coming home to, a place where you can entertain happily, harmoniously, and generously.

If my home is in order, I feel as though my life is in order and I can take on anything. I love walking into an intelligently designed, immaculate kitchen. I love opening the freezer door and finding everything I need neatly stacked: frozen appetisers ready to be popped into the oven, decorator ice cubes available to enliven a chic cocktail, chicken stock waiting to form the base of a delicious home-made soup.

In the closet, I love finding my shirts arranged from light to dark, short-sleeve to long, beautifully starched, and hanging from matching hangers. I love clean, polished surfaces that are stripped of any unnecessary clutter. I love opening my desk drawers and immediately finding business cards, personal stationery, pens, and my cell phone charger. And at night, I love retiring to a bedroom so pulled together and luxuriously welcoming that I could easily mistake it for a five star hotel suite.

Keep the things that are precious to you close by and available so they can be used on a regular basis. Everything else should be stored in a safe place, not left out on display. Serving bowls should be on the tables only when they’re overflowing with food, and there’s nothing at all exciting about an empty vase perched on a windowsill (even if it’s Lalique!). Less is definitely more!

For example, a simple vase with one exotic flower on a central table can be more astonishing than that same vignette surrounded by fourteen framed pictures and half a dozen objets from your last European vacation.

Instead, keep a separate closet or cupboard where you can store your collection of decorative items. When you bring them out for entertaining, they’ll seem brand new again. Use your pieces to create varied and interesting vignettes and fresh atmospheres, then put them away for the next time the mood strikes.

Invest in drawer dividers, baskets, and closet organisers. Trays and decorative bowls can also be fantastic containers for odds and ends such as keys and loose change. Create areas for everything you use, which will allow you to find what you’re looking for when you’re looking for it.

Try to take twenty minutes each day to tidy up and put things back where they belong. When you’re having a few friends over for drinks or throwing a party, you shouldn’t have to do a major all-day cleaning. The longer you delay straightening up, the more burdensome it is to clean. It’s much better, and a lot less overwhelming, to maintain order and cleanliness as you move through your day.

Granted, most people work and have to scramble to keep up with household chores. But ideally, you’ll get to a point where with a bit of soap and water, a mop and a broom, some dimmer switches on the lights and a little music, your home should be ready to receive guests at practically a moment’s notice. A little at a time goes a long way.

---

I saw Colin and his partner on Oprah and he was so engaging and funny I couldn’t help but liking him. His partner said if he ever wants to upset Colin all he has to do is shake a drawer so everything gets mixed up. Colin may sound a little OCDish but he makes it seem so appealing. You can view that Oprah session here.

I think Colin's advice to take a small amount of time to tidy up each day is so wise. It really makes a huge difference to both the smooth running of my household, and my levels of serenity. I also changed my bedside table to reflect Colin's recommendations (above) two and a half years ago when I first read the book, and it is still like that today. It must be working.

Image of Colin's bedside table from instyle.com

How to look taller and slimmer

2011-05-01T20:52:00.013+12:00

Once upon a time I had another blog called La Vie En Fifi. It started out as a place to keep my family up to date, and then somehow, somehow, my inner French girl started taking over. I decided to stop writing on that blog, and create a new one where she could reign supreme.

There were a few posts I thought would go quite nicely here, so I'm going to repost them over the next few weeks. If you used to read La Vie En Fifi you may remember some of them.

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How to look taller and slimmer
Originally posted on La Vie En Fifi, 4 September 2009

I have been working on my posture lately. There seems to be nothing more instantly beautifying. From slumping in a chair to sitting up straight with my shoulders pulled back surely must be nicer for my husband to look at (and he has commented on my good posture in the past so men must notice such things).

Rather than telling myself 'sit up', it's far easier to imagine an invisible thread attached to the top of my head, pulling myself up. I think this is the best piece of advice I have ever read.

I imagine the invisible string when I am sitting at the computer, getting up from the sofa, out walking, standing at work. It works every time. Having better posture is much more effortless this way, and really, why should it be? The power of the mind is incredible.

Another thing I do which is semi-related: when getting up or sitting down - I don't use my hands. It strengthens better muscles than your arms (like your abs) and you look more elegant than hoisting yourself up to standing position, or schlumping down.

Image of the divinely postured Aerin Lauder from harpersbazaar.com

Inspiration and balance

2011-04-26T06:31:00.003+12:00

My dear and lovely readers, thank you for allowing me to take a blog holiday and being there when I returned. I must say I feel very refreshed. Not only did I not visit my own blog, I did not visit many blogs at all in the time I was ‘in Paris with Sabine’ (catching up with my work).

Something I found out is that I am very suggestible and easily influenced by others opinions. I love reading others blogs, especially those encouraging of the French Chic lifestyle but find myself concerned with thoughts that are not my own. Does anyone have any suggestions on how they can stay on their own path and not be pulled off course by others beautiful writing and images? It even made me question reading books, but only for a minute though. And that thought especially stopped when my copy of Ines’ Parisian Chic arrived in the mail a few weeks ago.

Another thing to consider is the time factor. I have spent a lot more time off the laptop and in my life. And that’s what it’s all about isn’t it? Shouldn’t our inspiration be a springboard for our lives instead of being our lives?

With my quest to have balance, I will be spending less time on the computer and may not catch up with blogs daily. I hope you are not offended, but I may not even have time to comment, even though I will be reading. And in turn, do not feel obligated to comment on anything I post. Only do so if you really want to.

Of course I love receiving comments, it’s fabulous to have feedback, but I never want anyone to feel as if they have to or my feelings will be hurt. Part of being a grown up (and blossoming into a chic-er version of oneself) is deciding what you want to do and what you don’t. And not apologising for it. I hope I have found a way to continue blogging without it consuming vast amounts of time.

I also have another question for you. I would love to hear your suggestions for topics. I have many up my sleeve, but sometimes wonder if I don’t repeat myself. And if I wrote on everything that is in my ideas notebook I certainly would. I don’t think that would be a bad thing, as some blogs I love to read and have done for many years repeat their messages over and over. It creates continuity.

But for myself writing, I feel like I might be boring you. So I am putting it to you, is there anything you would particularly like to hear my thoughts on? You can let me know in the comments section (so much for not asking anyone to leave a comment!) or email me privately – how to be chic (at) gmail (dot) com.

Loving your home

2011-04-17T21:58:00.008+12:00

Today, on my day off at home I did one of my favourite things – potter. Pottering is part housework, part moving things around, part prettifying your abode. We live in a small home, and it’s a constant effort to not let stuff take over. I make regular trips to the charity store with drop-offs and work my way around areas as they bother me.

Because our living area is petite, there is not a large difference in the way I can rearrange furniture, but I do it anyway. I swap the sofas over (they go well together but do not match) and shift the side tables around. I turn the rectangular dining table to face longways rather than sideways. The art on the wall is moved around.

All ornaments are taken down, washed in the kitchen and then put back in other areas. Sometimes some are put away and others are taken out. We have very few surfaces for ornaments and rotating them makes you appreciate them more. At the moment I have a white theme going on.

And while I’m doing all this of course I can vacuum every part of the carpet including corners and edges, and polish the tables.

I only do it when the urge takes me, that way it’s fun. It really makes everything look fresh and new, having been cleaned and the furniture and paintings/prints in different places.

When your home looks stale and boring, dusty and uninspiring, it is tempting to go shopping for some light entertainment and buy a rug, candle or doodad. Resist that temptation for when you get home again, your dusty and stale home will still be there and you will have added an extra piece of clutter.

A pottering day (or even pottering-few-hours like I had) is just the tonic. Your home will feel like a très stylish boutique hotel. Sadly the image above is not where I live. It's one of my favourite places to stay - The Langham Hotel.

En vacances

2011-03-26T16:49:00.003+13:00

Fifi and her French alter-ego Sabine the chic Paris girl have gone on holiday. We would like to be going to Paris and will certainly be there in our minds, but the reality is quite the opposite (however almost as French).

To preserve my serenity I am taking some time to get 'everything' in control. I feel pulled in too many directions at the moment. I look forward to seeing you in about a month, maybe sooner if I get through my long to-do list.

Atlas says hi - he is still going strong, and was pleased to see Audrey Hepburn as Sabrina, above, elevating her look with a poodle.

How to be a lady

2011-03-19T06:34:00.024+13:00

I recently finished watching a tv series I had recorded - The Ladies of Hedsor Hall. A group of rowdy young American women are sent to Hedsor Hall Finishing School in England. Aside from the inevitable cat fights, I really enjoyed the programme.

I would have loved attending something like that myself, although these girls could have eaten me alive. And it's only now that I'm older that I can appreciate the lessons.

Hedsor Hall has a crest which stands for everything that defines a true lady - 'dignity, discipline and grace'.

The girls had a few rules when they first moved in:

- No swearing
- No excess drinking
- Lights out at 10pm
- Act like ladies at all times

They sound like not unreasonable rules to live life by in general.

Each girl was given a set of pearls to wear while they attended finishing school. The headmistress told them 'pearls become brighter and shinier with wear over time. Wear them to remind yourself you are a lady'.

Tidying up their appearance, the teachers asked them to aim for 'neat and tidy' and wear their hair off their face, with hair styled 'like a lady, not a 12 year old girl'. A smooth ponytail is ladylike for example, whereas pigtails are not.

They were given classes in various areas and I had to take notes. It's never too late to refine oneself, I feel.

Deportment. Sit up straight. The girls were taught to walk with a book on their head, and even tried walking with a book and a glass of water on their head. The book-walking was more successful and looked more natural than the book- and glass-walking.

Falconry, pheasant shooting. Just the usual everyday pursuits you might follow in the English countryside.

Art class, flower arranging. They actually created really pretty and professional looking flower arrangements (in oasis on a dish, rather than in a vase).

Fine wines. Some of the girls refused to spit the wine out, not wanting to waste it. I'm afraid I might be like that, but if I was in esteemed company I'd hope I would follow the lead of the others.

Social etiquette. Making conversation is about making people feel comfortable. It is bad manners to interrupt someone when they are speaking. A lady drinks on certain occasions and not to excess.

Anger management. Learning how to be a lady is learning how to manage your anger and control your emotions. Find an outlet for your anger (in their case they went fencing. As you do).

Dancing. In the elegant world of a lady, mastering dances such as the waltz can demonstrate grace and refinement.

Table etiquette. To honour your host, try any food that is put in front of you. Try to finish 2/3. Of course they chose the foods which would challenge the girls most - haggis, lamb testicles are the few I remember. I doubt I would ever come across a dinner party where delights such as these are served, but I would give it a good go and not complain and retch. I don't eat pork products but have had a couple of occasions where I have because I am somewhere as a guest. Of course if you are vegetarian or vegan for ethical reasons it is different, but if, like me, you don't eat something just because you don't care for it, it can't hurt to be polite to your host or hostess.

Sexual etiquette. Men are hunters. Men love the chase. You have to be that prize. The prize that that person will want to come home to. Naturally their former behaviour of hooking up with guys they'd met in a bar that night was frowned upon.

Appearance makeovers. Hair is taken back close to the natural colour and is styled to be 'neat and prim'. All facial piercings are removed and makeup is applied in neutral colours. 'Looks aren't everything but they are important. First impressions are made as soon as you walk into a room'.

The Disciplinarian (one of the teachers had this title - isn't it wonderful?) said of her class: 'The trouble with these girls is that they all live in their little boxes, filled with alcohol, men and a complete lack of ambition. In order to be really successful in life, you've got to experience new things... expand your horizons'.

I feel lucky that I had rather a better influence in life than a lot of these girls. There were some very sad stories. I have never felt the need to start a bar brawl, or to have my eyebrow pierced (at the tamer end of the scale). I have my mum to thank for trying her best to mold me into a lady from a young age.

Some of her words I can still recall: 'Speak properly', 'at least try something once before you say you don't like it', 'horses sweat, men perspire, ladies glow' and 'airports have lounges, Fiona, homes have living rooms'. My sister and I were taken complainingly to the theatre. But thankfully some of her lessons have rubbed off on me.

So won't we all put our pearls on today and head out into the world to 'be a lady'?

The Fashion Uniform

2011-03-17T06:16:00.010+13:00

Have you noticed that the top fashion designers and editors wear their own uniform of sorts?

No matter what's happening on the runway, there sits Michael Kors in his black top and aviators. In The September Issue I couldn't help but notice Anna Wintour dressed in basically the same silhouette each day - fitted bodice, little skirt, cardy and chunky beads.

Giorgio Armani is famous for wearing a black or navy t-shirt and black pants. The new French Vogue editor Emmanuelle Alt (above) apparently wears her uniform all the time too - skinny leg trousers with blazer and heels.

If you care to google image just about anyone high up in the fashion world, you'll notice a lot of their photos look very similar. Of course there will be those who wear something cutting edge and very different each day, but I believe they are the exception rather than the rule.

They are obviously onto something, and they're doing it without telling us.

What they're telling us is to look to the trends each season, but what they're doing is wearing classic shapes that suit their body and feel comfortable, and make them feel like them.

Rather than look to the models for inspiration, I actually prefer to take note of what the tastemakers are wearing. This observation makes me feel better about choosing to have a small wardrobe of simple classics, and looking to refine it over time.

There is a great article here which talks about what to wear as you get older, and has a fabulous quote from Mr Armani:

"At every age, what makes you have a great sense of style is the ability to listen to your own instincts and to choose what makes you feel comfortable and confident. Being elegant is not a matter of age but of attitude."

Chic Mentors

2011-03-12T07:21:00.002+13:00

You know how sometimes you meet someone who has an impact on you? I’m talking about the little impacts here, not meeting the love of your life or your new best friend. In French Chic world they are known chic sightings.

I’ve started a Word file called Chic Mentors where I note down all the women (and men) that I’ve known (and continue to know) that have had a chic impact on me. Sometimes it might just be a few words they’ve said, what they were wearing or the impression they always give me when I see them (favourable).

An example is one I jotted down yesterday. I was working in the shop and in came a tv newsreader who I’ve seen a couple of times shopping with us (she lives in the area). She was walking past with her beautiful border collie and tied him to the door to come in for a browse.

I believe she is around 42-43 in age. Other times she has come into the shop I’ve thought how pretty and young she looked, and she was unassuming and quiet too, with a touch of standoffishness (in a self-preservation way rather than a ‘I’m a star’ way).

Yesterday she had exercise clothes on – knee length tights in navy and a navy t-shirt. Compared to other women I see who don’t eat anything and have Rachel Zoe withered skin over breast-implant skeletons, she was still curvy despite being very slender and petite and her skin had a lovely golden glow (she is blonde). She had a look around and then continued on with her walk.

I make little notes in my Chic Mentors file and enjoy reading back on them when I’m feeling less than motivated.

For the lady above I simply wrote:

X from tv who walks past with her dog – slender, healthy and golden-skinned with navy t-shirt and navy below-the-knee leggings.

Naturally this brief description means more to me than it does to you, because it triggers my memory and I can remember the impression she gave me. It helps me pick up my chic sticks again and carry on.

Chic Habits

2011-03-06T13:12:00.006+13:00

In honour of our wedding anniversary today I am here to remind you to
Clean your jewels. The ones I’m talking about are any rings you wear on a regular basis. My wedding and engagement ring and anything I might wear on my right hand get washed in different soaps many times a day and just as often doused in handcream. I try to work around them with the handcream but it will still slosh around my gems. I don’t take them off to wash or moisturise as I’ve heard too many horror stories of them being left behind or falling down the plughole (a big fear of mine).

When we purchased my rings three years ago, I bought a pot of jewellery cleaning solution. I used it once and then put it in the cupboard. Does this sound like you? Every so often when I came across it I would pull out the pot and clean my jewels, exclaim how lovely they looked and not do it again for another six months. Now I have decided that if I put the pot in a place where I’m likely to come across it often, I can aim for clean jewellery once a week. It’s working so far and I feel sparklier as a result.

Another jewellery cleaning solution I have been told about is gin. I haven’t tried it myself but my information comes from reliable sources (my father-in-law and also Anthea Turner, ‘Perfect Housewife’). To save wastage on gin (which naturally you will not want to do, you don’t want to be left short for g&ts at 5), may I suggest finding a small container which you can leave the gin in, and label it as a jewellery cleaning solution.

The photo above is us out last night after champagne in a swanky hotel lobby bar before dinner at the rustic Italian place we were married.

Secrets of Style: French Chic

2011-02-27T12:28:00.018+13:00

If you need some real-life French inspiration, take a few minutes to play this video. French women are born with it. The rest of us need a little assistance.

Cue Marjorie...

How to Seduce

2011-02-26T07:50:00.016+13:00

Yesterday I had a hair appointment to keep. In the almost three hours I was there (I know) I read a lot of magazines. Thankfully they had plenty of new Australian Vogues and Marie Claires. One magazine, Grazia, had a great article on -

How to Seduce a Man

Well, I had to take notes. All the suggestions were so good, I thought they would benefit me in day-to-day life and also, even though I am already married, with my husband. You see, they aren’t all just about seduction, but how to be attractive generally. I really love articles like that.

I wrote down the headings, and now I’m going to remember, paraphrase and add my own notes.

Wear red. This colour makes you more attractive to men. I too often notice how nice a woman looks when they wear red. It makes your skin look a little flushed perhaps, in a good way. Whatever colour you wear (on your top half at least), picks up the colour on your face. That’s why pinks and peaches are so flattering as well, and perhaps could be a less intense option for a top. And why black is not ideal, even though we all love wearing it – it picks up black circles under the eyes!

Show 40% of skin. I think this was aimed more at dressing up for an evening out. 40% is the ideal amount. Anything less and you risk sinking into dowdy territory, any more and you will end up seducing your man in a less chic way, and showing yourself off as being very available. It probably would work for daytime too. A French women is famous for showcasing just one part of herself, whether it's great legs, toned arms or a silky-smooth decolletage. If every single part is covered up you wouldn't really notice, but imagine a women in well-fitted jeans and slender-cut t-shirt, that when she turns around shows a back-revealing detail. Ooh la la.

Be well-rested. This article claimed that men were shown pictures of women from two groups – one group had plenty of sleep and one group had no sleep. Of course they chose the well-rested group as more attractive. I can’t argue with that. And for heavens sake don’t wear a black top on a day when you didn’t get enough sleep!

Smile 35 times an hour. Women who smiled every 1.7 minutes were considered more attractive than those who smiled less. Does that seem like a lot of smiling? I remember from my (second) wedding day I had sore cheeks the next day from smiling for photos and well-wishers. So perhaps a little less smiling than that. The charity shop near me has the most pinch-faced old bat behind the counter. Even when I am dropping off really nice donations she can’t force a smile out. I bought a book from there a few days ago and she handed me my book and change and I actually waited until she made eye contact with me and then smiled at her and waited for the return smile... it eventually came, a tight, miser-ish little smile. Geesh, they don't cost anything love. I feel a bit mean about 'making' her smile, but it was fun. And on the other side of the scale, people I've met who I often think 'aren't they just so nice' are the ones that smile, a lot.

Touch him subtly. When you’re talking to a man, whether it’s someone you met in a bar, your boyfriend or your husband, make a point to subtly touch him to make a point. Perhaps on the arm or shoulder. Not too much though, don't be one of those women (an over-toucher Seinfeld would probably call her). I think non-bedroom touching is very important in a relationship. A quick shoulder-rub going past your man when he's sitting down, a touch on the hand, quick kiss on the neck.

Wear a spicy-floral fragrance. Apparently you will appear 5kg / 10 pounds thinner. And who doesn’t want that? I was pleased to see that Chanel No. 5 has spicy components as well as powdery florals. There are many other spicy-florals that aren’t as heavy as straight out oriental perfumes. Dolce Vita I know is one, from my days at Dior, as is the original Dior Addict in the dark blue bottle. One of my husband’s friends used to give me a hug when he saw me and exclaim in raptures whenever I wore Dior Addict. After he met his wife, he did it a few times and then stopped. I think she had words with him that she'd rather he went into raptures over her instead. I don’t blame her!

Be charitable and a better person. Even if they don’t know it, men are always sizing up a potential female partner as the mother of his children. If he sees that you are a kind person he is likely to think more of you. I’ve read often that men want their women to be a better version of themselves. They put us up on a pedestal and look to us as the moral guider. That’s a tall ask I know. It also makes me try and be a better person. Again, in my observations of other women, isn’t it a not-nice shock to discover that someone you admired and thought to be lovely ended up being a bit sneaky or mean-spirited? I don’t want to be one of those women. I want my husband to think I am saint-like, heavenly and kind-hearted.

Talk to him with head slightly tilted forward. Something about looking up at him and being slightly submissive. It sounds quite hard to do without looking silly. What I do know though, when you see aggressive women on tv (likely in a reality show like Top Model) they talk with their head held back and up, and look arrogant and aggressive. They don’t exactly come across as feminine or even remotely likeable.

Wear a little makeup. Finally, the article says men may profess to like women a la naturale, with no makeup at all. The study shows another story though. The women with scrubbed clean faces were rated as less attractive as women who were very lightly made up. The key point was a contrast between features and skin. So mascara, lipstick, blush and defined brows are important. What I think it is that men don't like is makeup put on with a trowel and spider-leg eyelashes.

What would you add to this list? Care to refute anything? I would love to hear your comments. Wanting to be feminine and have men find you attractive is quite controversial in our modern Western society. But isn’t that what French women have been doing forever? I know it’s not for everyone, but for me, I love talking about all this girly stuff.